Archive for July, 2012

RYAN: What’s this for again?

JOWETT: Just a catch up

MIKE: Why does it need to be recorded?

JOWETT: I was going to put it on the blog. I’ve researched stuff to talk about


JOWETT: Sorry?

MIKE: Can we just have a normal chat without it being recorded? We have been getting on well lately. This is going to ruin it

JOWETT: (Tut’s) These conversations have never made you fall out!

RYAN: They have actually


RYAN: Apparently I said something about Mike that upset him. A few days later we were in the studio and Mike had to take me to one side and warn me about it

JOWETT: (Laughs) He took you to one side?

MIKE: YES! There was no one else in the room, that’s how upset I was about it!

JOWETT: Okay I will try and set any of you up for ridicule. On a different matter, I have done some research on Mike’s family tree

MIKE:….Great start

JOWETT: Problem?

MIKE: Well you have obviously done this to make a fool out of me and my past

JOWETT: I promise you, I haven’t

MIKE: What have you found then?

JOWETT: You never told us your grandfather used to be a hairdresser?

Ryan sniggers


RYAN: Sorry

MIKE: Yeah it’s true, so what? Nothing wrong with that

JOWETT: Nope. And your great uncle was a dancer?

MIKE: Err yeah, that’s true

JOWETT: Your great grandfather…..was a florist

Ryan laughs

MIKE: Tell him, Jowett! My family was hard!

JOWETT: (Laughing) Stop it, Ryan

RYAN: Oh come on! Your family tree is full of effeminate jobs!

MIKE: It’s not!

RYAN: Is George Michael your dad?

MIKE: RIGHT! Jowett, keep going until you find something good

JOWETT: Your great grandfather was a deserter in the war

RYAN: Priceless

MIKE: I said good, Jowett!

JOWETT: Your Great great Aunt was married to a miner

MIKE: HA! GUTTED! My family isn’t full of girly men, because you have to be tough to be a miner

JOWETT: Sorry, I meant to say your great aunt was married to a minor. The boy was 12 when they started their relationship


MIKE: I don’t want to know anymore

JOWETT: Luckily, neither do I

MIKE: I don’t understand it. This is why my ancestry was kept from me. I was hoping these was at least some sort of hardcore army officer!

RYAN: It comes to something when your hoping one of your ancestors was a Nazi so your not a laughing stock



JOEL: I have a new pet

JOWETT: I heard! Is this because of the advance you all got?

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: What is it?

JOEL: Snake

JOWETT: Really? How much?

JOEL: 300 quid

JOWETT: That’s not that bad. What’s it’s name?

JOEL: Chris Brown


JOWETT:…….Your snake is called Chris Brown?

JOEL: Why?

JOEL: Dunno. The place I bought it from named it that

JOWETT: And you didn’t think to ask why?

JOEL: They said they would give it to me for 300 if I didn’t ask

JOWETT:………..Okay, probably best

MIKE: I bet I can hazard a guess why it’s called that

JOWETT: Mmm I don’t think you can (Taps the tape recorder)

MIKE: (Tut’s) Fine. But the money he has spent on treatment for Chris Brown, is ridiculous


MIKE: He took it to a posh vet’s and they must of seen Joel coming a mile off (Mocking voice) “I’m afraid Chris Brown has got Alzheimer’s”


MIKE: So he forked out for treatment, like an idiot

JOWETT: I see. Why didn’t you take it to a normal vet?

JOEL: Because my closest vet has a reputation for touching animals inappropriatly

JOWETT: That’s not true!

JOEL: It is

JOWETT: What vet is this?

JOEL: ********* Vet’s

JOWETT: Now you have just said their name on tape

JOEL: Well it’s true!

JOWETT: It’s not, Joel

JOEL: ……..It’s true I heard it


JOWETT: Mmm well, see you in court mate!

JOEL: Whatever

JOWETT: So all this has cost you a lot of money then?

JOEL: Yeah

MIKE: And trying to find female mice in bulk for Chris Brown is expensive, ay Joel