We are BACK!

Posted: March 5, 2012 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello!

RYAN: Hello

JOEL: Howdy

JOWETT: We are back! We have been gone a while…

RYAN: How long?

JOWETT: Christmas was the last one

RYAN: Woah

JOWETT: I know! We have been really busy though!

RYAN: True

JOWETT: Mike isn’t here at the moment, but he is on his way back from a party. So because he’s not here, in the interest of fairness, we can say what we like about him!

RYAN: I wouldn’t. He’s angrier now he’s sober. He got a brand new hairdresser sacked last month before he had even touched a hair on his head


RYAN: Because Mike sat in front of the mirror ready to get a trim and the hairdresser put his hand on his shoulders, looked at him through the mirror and said “Isn’t hair weird!”


RYAN: He had to go after that. Mike couldn’t trust him

JOWETT: Yeah. I must point out to the readers that Mike has given up alcohol

RYAN: For lent

JOWETT: Psh come on. He’s been told he has to by..

RYAN: Don’t. We have to say that. He get’s angry if you suggest he has to give it up for health reasons


RYAN: He doesn’t like the idea of being ‘past it’

JOWETT: (Tut’s) Okay. He’s given it up for Dr Lent


JOWETT: I’ve compromised. You alright Joel?


JOWETT: How was your Christmas?

JOEL: Good!

JOWETT: Good presents?


JOWETT: What did I get you?

JOEL: A new hand puppet

JOWETT: Yep. You like like it?

JOEL: Love it! I take it around with me. Got it here

(Joel goes into his bag and put’s on a sock puppet)

JOWETT: Aww….bit weird but hey. Don’t give this one to Mike

JOEL: I won’t

JOWETT: Mike did stuff to your last oine didn’t he?

Joel nod’s solomnly

JOWETT: Had to burn it. Anyway!…

RYAN: Before you start a new conversation, have you moved that bottle of Captin Morgans from studio desk?

JOWETT: No. Why?

RYAN: I have been looking for it for ages. Was gonna have a glass to loosen me up for this

JOWETT: Sorry mate. When did you last see it?

RYAN: Hours ago. I was with Mike and….ah


RYAN: He’s had it hasn’t he?

JOWETT: Nah he promised he was off it, didn’t he?

RYAN: Yeah but he was moaning he couldn’t drink at this party. He’s had it

JOWETT: Now come on, mate. It could be anywhere!

Mike crashes through the doors on a pogo stick

MIKE: Waaaaaaaaaaay!

JOWETT: (To Ryan) Yeah, okay, It’s in Mike


MIKE: What’s (Pause while he looks around the room) This?

JOWETT: Has someone broken their promise?

MIKE: You what?

JOWETT: You’re drunk, mate

MIKE: Yeah a bit

RYAN: I can smell the booze on you from here. Go have a wash and sober up

MIKE: F*ck you. You know car washes?

JOWETT: Sorry?

MIKE: You know car washes?


MIKE: Mental……aren’t they?


Mike get’s up off the ground, staggers about and sit’s next to Joel

MIKE: I can’t even see properly. The first time I met Joel, he told me he had never been in a car wash

JOWETT: What? Even as a kid?

JOEL: No never

MIKE: So I took him! Paid for it too


MIKE: You didn’t know WHAT was going on did ya?

JOEL: Mmm no

MIKE: He really had to trust me, because I suppose the first time is a bit unsettling

JOWETT: I suppose so, for children maybe

MIKE: I thought he was gonna try to get out half way through. “BAIL! BAIL!”


MIKE: But he didn’t. (Looks at the sock puppet) Who’s your mate?

JOWETT: (Warning tone) No Mike!

MIKE: Can I look at him?

JOEL: Yeah oka…


JOEL: Oh, no sorry

MIKE: (Tut’s) I’m never allowed anything! Apparently I can’t use the water thing down stairs anymore, either

JOWETT: Water thing? The water cooler? You lost your right to the water cooler?

MIKE: It’s not a right, It’s a PRIVILEDGE!…or so reception tells me


JOWETT: The party was good then?

MIKE: Yeah. Had to leave early though

RYAN: You did something wrong then?


JOWETT: Mmm ‘out the front early’ or ‘out the back early’?

MIKE: ‘Out the front early’

JOWETT: (To Ryan) Mmm couldn’t have been that bad then

MIKE: I was suggested to leave because I offended someone…apparently


MIKE: This indian bloke. He is a record executive or something

JOWETT: Offended him?

MIKE: Yeah

JOWETT: Is it a coincidence that he’s foreign? Or is this story based on it

MIKE: That’s for you to decide

JOWETT: Go on….

MIKE: He just comes up to me out of no where and asked if we would perform at his daughters 18th birthday party next month..

JOWETT: And you said….

MIKE: (Indian accent) “Not on your nelly!”


JOWETT: You said that?

MIKE: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?

RYAN: Accent

JOEL: Accent

JOWETT: Obviously, the accent


JOWETT: Who’s party was it?

MIKE: Err not sure. It had an Indian theme though (Laughs)


MIKE: Do one Jowett!.You do my fu*king head in. I don’t know why I bothered coming here. (Point’s at Jowett) You’re a dick head (Points at Ryan) You’re a dick head (Points at the puppet on Joel’s hand) I don’t even know you, but (Points at Joel) your mate is a dick head


JOWETT: Time to wrap this up

MIKE: Jowett?

JOWETT: It’s been great doing this again

MIKE: Jowett?

JOWETT: We aren’t certain how often we can do these interviews so we might do special one’s now and again. So watch this space!

MIKE: Jowett?


MIKE: Jowett? Jowett?

JOWETT: This better be good..

MIKE: When I do this.(Mike pulls a stupid face) It hurts….

JOWETT: …Don’t do it then


JOWETT: Goodbye! Where the fu*ck did you get a pogo stick from at 11 o’clock at night?

  1. cruz2lose says:

    Welcome back! : )

  2. joehoover says:

    Cool, the boys are back in town!

  3. susielindau says:

    I will look forward to more of your antics and sock puppet stories…

  4. Glad to have you back! 🙂

  5. i’m still laughing about the sock puppet 🙂

  6. Thanks for visiting/liking my recent blogpost.

    Funny stuff here…you’ve definitely got a gift for recalling conversations!

    I really laughed about the comments concerning Lent b/c one of my wife’s friends just told her that British peeps hardly attend church anymore, much less recognize Lent.

  7. the master says:

    Far be it for me to endanger a person’s health just for my selfish benefit as a reader, but I’m glad Mike did not stick to his vow. For a minute I was worried he would be watered down, but his entrance soon allayed my concerns. Not as good as, say, Vyvyan’s in The Young Ones (through the wall, carrying a disembodied leg), but not bad.

  8. Blogdramedy says:

    All I can say is about bloody time. 😉

  9. Hahaa that was pretty funny! I’m going to look through your other posts

  10. eof737 says:

    Welcome back! 😉

  11. izziedarling says:

    Well, I was going to ask you what Mike was going to do once Lent was over but……….. great post!

  12. When I read your blog, I laugh so hard it hurts…but I’m gonna keep doing it

  13. aplscruf says:


  14. Cayman Thorn says:

    It’s about damn time….welcome back.

  15. Roshni says:

    Welcome back! That was certainly some coming-back! Loved Mike in this one (as always!!).

  16. Bella says:

    Indeed, it’s been a while! Welcome back! 🙂

  17. magsx2 says:

    A nice start to the day, I had a bit of a laugh, loved the post. 😀
    Thank You for visiting my blog.

  18. Glad you are back. “Yeah, okay, It’s in Mike” as if there was ever any doubt…hahahaha

  19. Joe says:

    now, THAT is funny.

  20. jumpingpolarbear says:

    I’m joining the bandwagon :).

  21. erikankie says:

    Nifty little blog you got here.

    Oh i mean, Nifty -very large- and sturdy blog you have here.

  22. Missed you all. Party on Garth…

  23. rynnasaryonnah says:

    I stopped checking this page for awhile but OMG the band is back! Loved the part where Mike said, “I don’t even know you but your mate is a…” and love the part when he says that it hurts when he pulls a stupid face. Wonder what his Indian accent sounds like…hmmm…

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