Mike ruins another interview and Joel explains what love is like

Posted: November 23, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello again! Welcome to…something wrong Mike?

MIKE: I have spotted a spider. A big one


MIKE: I’m not a fan

JOWETT: (Tut’s) Come on it’s not gonna hurt JESUS CHRIST IT’S HUGE!

MIKE: I can’t concentrate on this conversation until someone deals with it

RYAN: It isn’t that big

MIKE: Mate, I can hear it breathing


JOWETT: Can we get someone to get rid of…cheers Steve

MIKE: Cheers Steve

JOWETT: Happy now?


JOWETT: Who gets rid of the spiders when you are at home?

MIKE: I’m on my own, so no one. I would just let them take over and they would be my masters

JOWETT: Is it just spiders, that you don’t like?

MIKE: Spiders and crabs

JOWETT: Whats wrong with crabs?

MIKE: They are like spiders, but just tooled up


JOWETT: Erm I wanted to talk about something….Oh yeah! Mike, I heard you said something irresponsible to an interviewer, yesterday

MIKE: I say a lot of things, mate. Gonna have to be more specific

JOWETT: The thing you said when asked “How would you help the people of the world forget about their problems, if you could”

RYAN: It’s a stupid question to be fair

JOWETT: I know, I know. But, what did you say, Mike?

MIKE: I said they need a distraction


MIKE: Look, some things I say, get taken out of context

JOWETT: Well, you can’t really take “The world needs a new Fritzel” out of context



MIKE: I know what I meant

RYAN: Joel got on well with her

JOWETT: Oh ah?

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: How well?

JOEL: Very well


JOEL: Not how you think. I played slaps with her

JOWETT: You did what?


JOEL: Slaps. You both hold you hands together while touching each others fingertips and you have to slap the other persons hand before they can move it out the way

JOWETT: Yeah I know what it is, just making sure I heard you properly. Is that what all your dates are like?

JOEL: It wasn’t a date

MIKE: You played slaps with a girl?

JOEL: Yeah?

MIKE: Well, delicate stuff that is

JOWETT: What is?

MIKE: One wrong move and he’s Chris Brown



JOWETT: What is it about Joel, that girls like, do you think?

RYAN: It’s his quietness. Girls think he’s mysterious

MIKE: Nah we think he’s mysterious, girls think he’s autistic


JOWETT: Joel told me it’s because he’s good with his fingers

JOEL: I am

RYAN: Good with your hands, you mean

MIKE: Fist?

Groans from all over the room


MIKE: (Laughing) What!?

JOWETT: Unnecessary

Mike Laughs

JOWETT: I heard she probed you about your love life, too, Joel?

JOEL: Yeah, well past relationships etc

RYAN: Didn’t want to talk about it though, did you?


JOWETT: Why not?

JOEL: Nothing to say

JOWETT: Come on! You have been in love before

JOEL: Yeah but I didn’t like it

JOWETT: Anyway, what was wrong with actually being in love?

JOEL: Was horrible


JOEL: Honestly, love, is like a disease

JOWETT: Cliché

JOEL: Like aids

JOWETT: Not so cliché



MIKE: Oh come on! No one looks at Joel with disgust


MIKE: You are going to let that slide, aren’t you?


MIKE: All I said was FIST! and you told me off!


JOWETT: I’m dealing with it! No, Joel, it’s definitely not like aids

JOEL: It is

JOWETT: No, Freddie Mercury didn’t die of love, did he

JOEL: Well….certain type of…




JOWETT: Mike? Want to talk about love?

MIKE: To be honest, it wasn’t really for me either

JOWETT: ( Sarcastically) Your joking!


MIKE: Dont’ do that


MIKE: Give me the same reaction to when you heard Ricky Martin had come out as gay


JOWETT: Well, not the most lovable person are you. Did your vegetarian girlfriend love you?

MIKE: Yeah

JOWETT: Why couldn’t you love her back? Was it the vegetarian thing?

MIKE: Nah, that didn’t bother me. I couldn’t really escape that. She was hardcore veggie, even her dog was a vegetarian

JOWETT: Mmm I don’t think so, mate

MIKE: No, it was

JOWETT: Nah, her dog wasn’t a vegetarian. Your ex didn’t put rabbit flavoured food in front of it one day and it turned around and went “Errrrr I’m not eating that! Give me some rice woman!”


MIKE: No, she made it eat vegetarian food

RYAN: What did it eat then?

MIKE: Like these pellets that looked like gravel. You could hear the poor bastard breaking his teeth trying to eat them from the other side of the house


JOWETT: Okay. Let’s end this now and come back to it another time. Until next time! Goodbye


funny blog, comedy blog

  1. Joy says:

    🙂 you make me smile even when I don’t feel like it. Ha! Still smiling.

  2. I wish I could invite you guys to our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow…

  3. Corz Galore says:

    Oh Man, the autistic comment made me laugh really loud. No more reading this crap at 6 in the morning.

  4. the master says:

    The number of terms in this post that correlate with my search history, it’s quite unsettling. I’m not gonna specify which terms they are.

  5. timcoffeyart says:

    No matter where you go in the world, you are never more than 8 feet away from a spider.


  6. susielindau says:

    One time this summer, a fog rolled in. I freaked out at how many spider webs there were. Hundreds of them shimmered with the dew. I took a photo of the monster web at the entry light and used it in a post! Some were 4 feet wide~ gets the willies and walks away from computer for a while…..

  7. showard76 says:

    lmao, ohh dear those poor boys (Joel and Mike) not knowing what love is like. And playing slaps with a girl, how old? 12 years at a push, hehehe And Mike – Yes you did deserve telling off for ‘fist’! 😉

  8. thank you so much for allowing us (out here in the land of blogdom) to be flies on the wall for this conversation. (or should i say ‘spiders on the wall?’) i’ve got to think my colleagues in surrounding offices are wondering why i’m sitting here alone in my office guffawing.

  9. zencherry says:

    I’d pay to see what was pinged out. Just sayin’. 😀

  10. kvetchmom says:

    One time someone told me a statistic about how many spiders we consume when we are sleeping. I’ve been twitchy ever since. Love your blog.


  11. I had a giant spider in my apartment once, I was so scared and on my own I slept in my car until my dad came the desk day to get rid of it…..

  12. next day… stupid auto correct….

  13. I think the moral of this post is, love means never having to kill your own spiders.

  14. This is so weird. I wrote about a spider too in a conversation style blog with Daughter.

    I am loving your post lately. My favorite line: They are like spiders, but just tooled up. Now that is funny

  15. camsgranny says:

    thanx ya’ll for giving me giggles when I really need them…have ya ever heard of camel crickets? can ya come take care of them for me?…:):)

  16. lostbutf0und says:

    “JOWETT: Whats wrong with crabs?

    MIKE: They are like spiders, but just tooled up”


  17. joeybrooks says:

    I just woke up the baby laughing from this and my wife is pissed…she’ll get over it that was hilarious!

  18. MIKE: Mate, I can hear it breathing


  19. ottabelle says:

    Wow, you’re hilarious. 😀

  20. Another fabulous eight-legged blog. Now with extra fist!
    Please explain to your American readers (i.e. myself) what or who a Fritzel is.
    Many thanks for your making me laugh today.

  21. rynnasaryonnah says:


  22. Blogdramedy says:

    I guess love means never having to eat your broccoli. 🙂

  23. LOL! Fritzel… that’s so wrongly funny!

    My Christmas wish is that this band will start their own TV show. If I’m laughing out load to print conversations I can’t even imagine the real thing 🙂

  24. spiders, crabs, love, aids, freddie murcery…great one!

  25. eof737 says:

    Had a good laugh over this one… but then I always enjoy the humor in your posts. 😆

  26. Ape No. 1 says:

    Haha. I can’t stop thinking now that within every crab shell, or robotic fighting exoskeleton, is a spider looking for trouble. I wonder if it’s breathing sounds like a minuscule Dearth Vader?

  27. Cave Story says:

    “Mate, I can hear it breathing” That was a good one! 😀

  28. You could always give the spider roller skates like Harry Potter did. Scary to funny in a flash. That’s one of the tips for humor. Great post! Thanks for sharing!

  29. Jen says:

    O – to be a spider on the wall in a room with you guys. Or maybe not (depending upon whether or not Steve squished it).

  30. robpixaday says:

    Bwahahah!!!! Tooled up spiders!

  31. Paprika says:

    😀 😀 😀 happy!!!

  32. Jennifaye says:

    Harharhar! 😀 Good idea for a date…playing slaps! Must try.

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