Mike ruins another interview and Joel explains what love is like

Posted: November 23, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello again! Welcome to…something wrong Mike?

MIKE: I have spotted a spider. A big one

JOWETT: So?

MIKE: I’m not a fan

JOWETT: (Tut’s) Come on it’s not gonna hurt JESUS CHRIST IT’S HUGE!

MIKE: I can’t concentrate on this conversation until someone deals with it

RYAN: It isn’t that big

MIKE: Mate, I can hear it breathing

Laughter

JOWETT: Can we get someone to get rid of…cheers Steve

MIKE: Cheers Steve

JOWETT: Happy now?

MIKE: Yep

JOWETT: Who gets rid of the spiders when you are at home?

MIKE: I’m on my own, so no one. I would just let them take over and they would be my masters

JOWETT: Is it just spiders, that you don’t like?

MIKE: Spiders and crabs

JOWETT: Whats wrong with crabs?

MIKE: They are like spiders, but just tooled up

Laughter

JOWETT: Erm I wanted to talk about something….Oh yeah! Mike, I heard you said something irresponsible to an interviewer, yesterday

MIKE: I say a lot of things, mate. Gonna have to be more specific

JOWETT: The thing you said when asked “How would you help the people of the world forget about their problems, if you could”

RYAN: It’s a stupid question to be fair

JOWETT: I know, I know. But, what did you say, Mike?

MIKE: I said they need a distraction

JOWETT: And….

MIKE: Look, some things I say, get taken out of context

JOWETT: Well, you can’t really take “The world needs a new Fritzel” out of context

PING

Laughter

MIKE: I know what I meant

RYAN: Joel got on well with her

JOWETT: Oh ah?

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: How well?

JOEL: Very well

JOWETT: I see

JOEL: Not how you think. I played slaps with her

JOWETT: You did what?

Laughter

JOEL: Slaps. You both hold you hands together while touching each others fingertips and you have to slap the other persons hand before they can move it out the way

JOWETT: Yeah I know what it is, just making sure I heard you properly. Is that what all your dates are like?

JOEL: It wasn’t a date

MIKE: You played slaps with a girl?

JOEL: Yeah?

MIKE: Well, delicate stuff that is

JOWETT: What is?

MIKE: One wrong move and he’s Chris Brown

Laughter

PING

JOWETT: What is it about Joel, that girls like, do you think?

RYAN: It’s his quietness. Girls think he’s mysterious

MIKE: Nah we think he’s mysterious, girls think he’s autistic

Laughter

JOWETT: Joel told me it’s because he’s good with his fingers

JOEL: I am

RYAN: Good with your hands, you mean

MIKE: Fist?

Groans from all over the room

JOWETT: Oh Mike

MIKE: (Laughing) What!?

JOWETT: Unnecessary

Mike Laughs

JOWETT: I heard she probed you about your love life, too, Joel?

JOEL: Yeah, well past relationships etc

RYAN: Didn’t want to talk about it though, did you?

JOEL: Nah

JOWETT: Why not?

JOEL: Nothing to say

JOWETT: Come on! You have been in love before

JOEL: Yeah but I didn’t like it

JOWETT: Anyway, what was wrong with actually being in love?

JOEL: Was horrible

JOWETT: Awww

JOEL: Honestly, love, is like a disease

JOWETT: Cliché

JOEL: Like aids

JOWETT: Not so cliché

Laughter

PING

MIKE: Oh come on! No one looks at Joel with disgust

JOWETT: What?

MIKE: You are going to let that slide, aren’t you?

JOWETT: No…

MIKE: All I said was FIST! and you told me off!

Laughter

JOWETT: I’m dealing with it! No, Joel, it’s definitely not like aids

JOEL: It is

JOWETT: No, Freddie Mercury didn’t die of love, did he

JOEL: Well….certain type of…

PING

JOWETT: RIGHT! STOP IT!

Laughter

JOWETT: Mike? Want to talk about love?

MIKE: To be honest, it wasn’t really for me either

JOWETT: ( Sarcastically) Your joking!

Laughter

MIKE: Dont’ do that

JOWETT: What?

MIKE: Give me the same reaction to when you heard Ricky Martin had come out as gay

Laughter

JOWETT: Well, not the most lovable person are you. Did your vegetarian girlfriend love you?

MIKE: Yeah

JOWETT: Why couldn’t you love her back? Was it the vegetarian thing?

MIKE: Nah, that didn’t bother me. I couldn’t really escape that. She was hardcore veggie, even her dog was a vegetarian

JOWETT: Mmm I don’t think so, mate

MIKE: No, it was

JOWETT: Nah, her dog wasn’t a vegetarian. Your ex didn’t put rabbit flavoured food in front of it one day and it turned around and went “Errrrr I’m not eating that! Give me some rice woman!”

Laughter

MIKE: No, she made it eat vegetarian food

RYAN: What did it eat then?

MIKE: Like these pellets that looked like gravel. You could hear the poor bastard breaking his teeth trying to eat them from the other side of the house

Laughter

JOWETT: Okay. Let’s end this now and come back to it another time. Until next time! Goodbye

 

funny blog, comedy blog

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Comments
  1. Joy says:

    🙂 you make me smile even when I don’t feel like it. Ha! Still smiling.

  2. I wish I could invite you guys to our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow…

  3. Corz Galore says:

    Oh Man, the autistic comment made me laugh really loud. No more reading this crap at 6 in the morning.

  4. the master says:

    The number of terms in this post that correlate with my search history, it’s quite unsettling. I’m not gonna specify which terms they are.

  5. timcoffeyart says:

    No matter where you go in the world, you are never more than 8 feet away from a spider.

    Tim

  6. susielindau says:

    One time this summer, a fog rolled in. I freaked out at how many spider webs there were. Hundreds of them shimmered with the dew. I took a photo of the monster web at the entry light and used it in a post! Some were 4 feet wide~ gets the willies and walks away from computer for a while…..

  7. showard76 says:

    lmao, ohh dear those poor boys (Joel and Mike) not knowing what love is like. And playing slaps with a girl, how old? 12 years at a push, hehehe And Mike – Yes you did deserve telling off for ‘fist’! 😉

  8. thank you so much for allowing us (out here in the land of blogdom) to be flies on the wall for this conversation. (or should i say ‘spiders on the wall?’) i’ve got to think my colleagues in surrounding offices are wondering why i’m sitting here alone in my office guffawing.

  9. zencherry says:

    I’d pay to see what was pinged out. Just sayin’. 😀

  10. kvetchmom says:

    One time someone told me a statistic about how many spiders we consume when we are sleeping. I’ve been twitchy ever since. Love your blog.

    http://kvetchmom.wordpress.com

  11. I had a giant spider in my apartment once, I was so scared and on my own I slept in my car until my dad came the desk day to get rid of it…..

  12. next day… stupid auto correct….

  13. I think the moral of this post is, love means never having to kill your own spiders.

  14. This is so weird. I wrote about a spider too in a conversation style blog with Daughter.

    I am loving your post lately. My favorite line: They are like spiders, but just tooled up. Now that is funny

  15. camsgranny says:

    thanx ya’ll for giving me giggles when I really need them…have ya ever heard of camel crickets? can ya come take care of them for me?…:):)

  16. lostbutf0und says:

    “JOWETT: Whats wrong with crabs?

    MIKE: They are like spiders, but just tooled up”

    Hilarious!

  17. joeybrooks says:

    I just woke up the baby laughing from this and my wife is pissed…she’ll get over it that was hilarious!

  18. MIKE: Mate, I can hear it breathing

    Brilliant!

  19. ottabelle says:

    Wow, you’re hilarious. 😀

  20. Another fabulous eight-legged blog. Now with extra fist!
    Please explain to your American readers (i.e. myself) what or who a Fritzel is.
    Many thanks for your making me laugh today.

  21. rynnasaryonnah says:

    MIKE IS HILARIOUS.I THINK I’M IN LOVE. haha.

  22. Blogdramedy says:

    I guess love means never having to eat your broccoli. 🙂

  23. LOL! Fritzel… that’s so wrongly funny!

    My Christmas wish is that this band will start their own TV show. If I’m laughing out load to print conversations I can’t even imagine the real thing 🙂

  24. spiders, crabs, love, aids, freddie murcery…great one!

  25. eof737 says:

    Had a good laugh over this one… but then I always enjoy the humor in your posts. 😆

  26. Ape No. 1 says:

    Haha. I can’t stop thinking now that within every crab shell, or robotic fighting exoskeleton, is a spider looking for trouble. I wonder if it’s breathing sounds like a minuscule Dearth Vader?

  27. Cave Story says:

    “Mate, I can hear it breathing” That was a good one! 😀

  28. You could always give the spider roller skates like Harry Potter did. Scary to funny in a flash. That’s one of the tips for humor. Great post! Thanks for sharing!

  29. Jen says:

    O – to be a spider on the wall in a room with you guys. Or maybe not (depending upon whether or not Steve squished it).

  30. robpixaday says:

    Bwahahah!!!! Tooled up spiders!

  31. Paprika says:

    😀 😀 😀 happy!!!

  32. Jennifaye says:

    Harharhar! 😀 Good idea for a date…playing slaps! Must try.

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