Just a massive bust up

Posted: October 5, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello

RYAN: Hello

MIKE: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Apologies again, for the lack of posts but we have been busy. Everyone is a little stressed, I’m feeling the strain

MIKE: Can say that again

JOWETT: Sorry?

MIKE: Nothing

JOWETT: No go on?

MIKE: Well you have been moody as f*ck, lately

JOWETT: I’m stressed! You lot don’t help!

MIKE: Don’t jab you’re finger at me, Jowett! We haven’t done anything!

JOWETT: You bloody have! Out of interest, which one of you keeps leaving threatening, joke voice mail messages on my phone?

MIKE: Why?

JOWETT: Because I liked it. Thought it was funny

MIKE: That was me

JOWETT: RIGHT! I’m going to the police. It’s harassment. It’s not funny.  Anyway, let’s start this interview

MIKE: (Tut’s)

JOWETT: What?

MIKE: I thought you were going to praise me for my funny message. You started this interview like you were running a local radio competition and then turned it into a threat! (Daft voice) “If you’re car registration number is A555 WJK then I would bail if I was you because I’ve attached a bomb to the engine”

Laughter

JOWETT: Well you have all been useless this last week. None of you co-operate. Management are loosing their rag with you. Trying to manage you is like trying to organise a flash mob with monkeys

Laughter

JOWETT: You can tell when Mike is in one of those ‘I’m going to wind everyone up’ moods

MIKE: HOW!?

JOWETT: Because you always walk around singing that boyz 2 men song “End of the road”  in an upbeat way! Your evil!

Laughter

MIKE: We haven’t done anything wrong! YOU stress us out!

JOWETT: How?

RYAN: You do keep deleting our TV shows off the TV planner!

JOWETT: I deleted ONE by accident and some others said you had already viewed them!

MIKE: Ryan may have seen them but I haven’t! Or Joel! Joel, what film didn’t you get to watch because Jowett deleted it?

JOEL: E.T

MIKE: E.T! HE FU*KING LOVES THAT FILM! AND YOU DELETED IT!

JOWETT: HE’S SEEN IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES!

MIKE: HE HAD PLANNED TO WATCH IT WITH JIM THE ROADIE! JOEL?

JOEL: I had planned that, yeah

MIKE: SEE!

JOWETT: Well I apologise, Joel

MIKE: TV planner Nazi!

JOWETT: Don’t turn this around on me! What’s this about you, planning to reveal to the press, your clothing label? The one with that stupid name

MIKE: (Tut’s) Oh come on! that was a joke!

JOWETT: It had better of been! What was the name of your ‘label’?

MIKE:………’Clothes From Outside The Gas Chamber’

Laughter

PING

MIKE: It’s okay, I wasn’t really going to do it

JOWETT: Better not do either

MIKE: Are you done?

JOWETT: NO! Joel, there is a rumor floating around that you accidentally gave your number to an undercover reporter posing as a fan, after a gig?

JOEL: Just a rumor mate

JOWETT: Sounds like something you would do

JOEL: Nah, I’m smarter than I use to be

MIKE: Christ, what did you use to be? A twig with Autism?

Laughter

PING

JOWETT: Ahh Err I’m sorry to any twigs with autism listening

Laughter

RYAN: Why did you apologise for that?

JOWETT: ……I don’t know

MIKE: You have lost the plot

JOWETT: Right, let’s start this off properly now. Someone said they had an email they wanted me to read out?

Pause

JOWETT: Okay, here we are. Erm this is from Sarah. “Hello boys, I follow the blog every week and as a fan I have noticed you talk about cats a lot. I have a cat myself and it has just given birth to a litter of kittens. I was wondering if you would like me to send you one of them……”     We don’t want anything to do with this! No chance!

Laughter

MIKE: No way

JOWETT: Asking for trouble!

Laughter

JOWETT: Right! Let’s start again! Ryan, you said you wanted to talk about something you heard on the news?

RYAN: Yeah. This sounds bizarre. The NSPCC, the charity for the protection of children, have set up a pedophile hot-line

JOWETT: Right, any news that Mike tells you, isn’t always going to be true

MIKE: This hasn’t come from me

RYAN: Nah I heard this on the radio. It is aimed at talking to  and deter convicted pedophiles, who have served their time and been released from jail, from striking again

JOEL: My auntie used to ring up a similar hot-line, but for weight watchers. They gave her support with her diet

JOWETT: Oh my god

Laughter

MIKE: Not quite the same, Joel “Hello? Is that the pedophile hot-line? Well, I just walked past 3 schools and didn’t go in a single one! YAY!”

Laughter

PING

JOWETT: That’s it for this week. I need a lie down

I have been informed that I might not be able to interview the lads next week, so, I have offered to write a post myself. I’m not yet sure what it’s going to be about, but I have offered to let the band come up with ideas. I will put it to the fans aswell. If you want to see a post on something specific then give me ideas. Keep following us on BlogLovin, Twitter and Facebook

Cheers

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Comments
  1. “E.T! HE FU*KING LOVES THAT FILM! AND YOU DELETED IT!” This made me laugh so much! A really funny post again 😀

  2. Amy says:

    This one had everything: E.T., gas chambers, pedophiles, developmentally disabled flora, kittens.
    Love it!

  3. aplscruf says:

    All Hell has officially broken loose.

    Jowett, get some REST for godssake! Do some yoga or something! Maybe you need a vacation from the band…

    Is “loosing their rag” similar to “throwing in the towel”?

    Pedophile hotline–I thought that was for people wanting to contact a pedophile…

  4. the master says:

    Seeings as my Sky TV has recently conked out, I feel Joel’s pain (although it did soften the blow to learn that everyone else in my block of flats, including the smarmy gits with Freeview, have lost their signal, too).

    This is one of the most entertaining posts yet, you guys should get each other wound up more often. Perhaps have a bare-knuckle brawl and then transcribe the results. Or, even better, a knife fight!

  5. …trying to organize a flash mob with monkeys… LOVE the visual that creates!

  6. I loved this post! One of your best!

  7. zencherry says:

    Brilliant: ‘Trying to manage you is like trying to organise a flash mob with monkeys.’

  8. Dear God, you have the patience of Job working with these boys, whatever they’re paying you, demand a raise! 🙂

  9. i’m hooked! and personally looking forward to what you post without an interview 🙂

  10. A twig with autism! Hahahahahhahahahaha

  11. ahahahaha. a twig with autism. going to try to work that into a sentence today!

  12. eof737 says:

    Brilliant and funny! 🙂
    Still catching up… kids in town from fall college break. 🙂

  13. Amber says:

    “My auntie used to ring up a similar hot-line, but for weight watchers. They gave her support with her diet” — I started laughing out loud in my office. Thanks for that. ^_^

    By the way, I also sign everything with “Cheers!” Once, one of my bosses “talked to me” about it – then her boss talked to her about talking to me (this person can read all office e-mails) and said to stop ruining everyone’s fun. It was quite humorous.

  14. love it! co-habiting..mates or partners…funny stuff…and touched on so much..

  15. The Hook says:

    Just a massive success! Well done!

  16. susielindau says:

    Once again too funny!
    One question….the day I signed up to follow you guys you unfollowed me. How ironic…..

  17. Rocket Dog (Ergo Proxy) says:

    I updated that dragon story you liked 😀

    http://princesslilo.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/narcissus-and-the-dragon-birth/

    and tell the band I said “Hi!”

  18. Rocket Dog (Ergo Proxy) says:

    and I’m following you on Twitter!!

  19. So funny I ended up with coffee up my nose from laughing at break. twig with autism: what a way with words. Great post!

  20. thisoldlife says:

    I love E.T. and understand the distress that situation may have caused.

  21. tootsiewoo says:

    Jowett (fake name):I loved this! My intention was to put my favorite quote in this comment but I had too many and I looked like a nerd quoting you 25 times. Definitely going to check out more of your posts.

    Tootsie Woo (fake name)

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