Old School Batman, Ryan Makes a Mistake and TV Characters Raiding Shops

Posted: September 15, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,


RYAN: Hello

MIKE: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: You are reading the 4th best rated Comedy Blog in the UK! I’m here with the lads. How are we all? Ryan is annoyed, isn’t he?

RYAN: (Laughs) He is yeah, made a fatal mistake

JOWETT: What did you do?

RYAN: Doesn’t matter, just can’t believe I’ve done it

JOWETT: It’s okay, your only human

RYAN: No mate, that saying is Bollocks, “Everyone makes mistakes, that’s how we know we are human”…no, I already knew I was human, I didn’t need to prove it to myself by overdosing my mum’s cat


MIKE: (Laughs) If there was ever a euphemism..

RYAN: Don’t

JOWETT: So what have you done?

RYAN: I’m looking after my mum’s cat while she is away and I have to give it medication for it because it keeps being sick, but I over did it and now…well….it seems to be able to laugh


JOWETT: Laugh?

RYAN: Yeah, it didn’t seem to work so I upped the dosage and it slept for like, days


JOWETT: Oh god!

RYAN: And now makes this manic noise, normally in the middle of the night, its terrifying

JOWETT: (Laughing) Christ

MIKE: How did you give it the medication?

RYAN: Just put it in it’s drink…I mean water


MIKE: Look at that Freudian slip! you have done this before! Why are you trying to spike your mum’s cat? Can’t you pull the cat like normal perverts?

RYAN: Shut up

MIKE: (Daft voice) “I tried to flirt with it by making fun of her, saying it’s breathe smelt, but she was clever, she saw through me”


MIKE: “Look at you, you tease…… I see your bowl is empty, another drink?”

JOWETT: RIGHT! Stop it now. We are already being monitored by PETA because of Bean Bag. What’s wrong with you lot and cats!? Joel’s cat self harms because it depressed!


 JOWETT: Are you alright Joel? Heard you have been watching Batman?


JOEL: I was watching old school Batman episode, with Adam West

JOWETT: Did you? Did he like it?


MIKE: I liked the old school Batman

JOWETT: Did you? Favourite episode?

MIKE: Err the one where Alfred developed Alsheimers

JOWETT: This didn’t happen

MIKE: It did, they found him wandering around the ‘Bat Cave’ with no underwear, looking lost  “Holy senior dementia, Batman, I’m not qualified to deal with this!”


JOWETT: Right look at this news story ‘Man in Gumby costume fails Miserably in store robbery’

MIKE: Whats ‘Gumby’?

JOWETT: Erm It’s an American, children’s show character from what I gather

MIKE: Okay

JOWETT: “The clerk of the 7-Eleven store where the claymation character showed up just after midnight early Monday did not think too much of the green life-sized TV figure standing before him demanding money” (Laughs) didn’t think much of the life-sized TV figure (Daft voice) “Is this is a robbery? Your costumes terrible! you’re not getting a penny!”


JOWETT: “Gummy was accompanied by a plainclothes man, who is seen on surveillance video entering the store behind his costume-clad friend”

MIKE: So one of them decided to get a disguise while the other didn’t? I’d like to see the moment when they met at the spot before the robbery “You said you werent going to wear a disguise!” “Argghhhhh It was a last-minute decision, I PANICKED!”

JOWETT: “The store clerk ignored the life-size Claymation character, telling him he could not waste time with jokes because he had to clean up the store, according to San Diego Police spokesman Detective Gary Hassen”


JOWETT: How demoralising must that be for someone carrying out a robbery when the bloke behind the counter goes “Get out of here you tinker! What are ya like ay!?”


JOWETT: “According to Hassen, investigators believe that it was a man wearing the Gummy costume “You don’t think this is a robbery? I have a gun,” Gumby said during the robbery, fumbling inside his costume to find his weapon, according to Hassen.


JOWETT: “However, the would-be robber was only able to find loose change instead of a gun, dropping 26 cents on the floor. Gumby and his plainclothes Pokey took off in a minivan after realizing their plan had been foiled…by the costume” (Laughs) (Daft voice) “You don’t think this is a robbery!? RIGHT! I’VE GOT……26 cents, I’ll be on my way and we will say no more about it ay?”

MIKE: The thought of him struggling inside his costume, trying to get a gun while his mate stands beside him trying to look menacing is hilarious. There must have been a moment where he realised he couldn’t get to it and just stopped and had to whisper to his mate after huffing and puffing “I can’t…I can’t get it” “Well do something, he already thinks we are a joke!” “I’ve got 26 cents, shall I throw that at him?” …….”let’s just leave”


JOWETT: “The clerk described gumby as a green ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ as he wasn’t familiar with the green TV character (Laughs) (Daft voice) “Who are you supposed to be? Spongebob Squarepants?” “WHAT!? I’M CLEARLY GUMBY, YOU MORON! THAT’S IT I’M LEAVING!”

JOWETT: “The clerk did not report the encounter, but his boss informed police after viewing the surveillance tape several hours later. “It doesn’t matter if a potential robber is wearing a ski mask, a bandana, a hoodie or a big, green head-it’s still a disguise,” Hassen said.”

MIKE: Very true! but that sounds like a few people have tried to rob that shop and after reviewing the CCTV footage, his boss has had to say to him”That man that came in demanding money wearing a big green head, well, just like the people before him wearing ski masks and the ones before them wearing bandanas, it was another disguise”


JOWETT: Right I best wrap this up. Untill next time!

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  1. aplscruf says:

    Do you know how hard it is to suppress hysterical laughter while working in a cubicle??? Damn you!

  2. ermigal says:

    I hadn’t heard about the Gumby and Pokey Caper–thanks, I’ll google it to confirm your account. I DO believe you, though–truth is stranger than fiction! Enjoyed your story BUT being the 4th most popular comedy blog in the UK? C’mon, matey (or whatever you blokes say to each other in the King’s English (or is it the Queen’s English?)That part must be fiction! Enjoyed your post, thx!

  3. Gilly says:

    I saw the attempted Gumby robbery on the news. It looked just as idiotic as you described… Hahaha!

  4. Even got my boss giggling along on this one, comedy genius as ever gents

  5. Well, clearly the guy shouldn’t have dressed up as Gumby…wrong character. He should have dressed up as Alsheimer’s Alfred and gone in because who WOULDN’T give money to an old guy in his underpants, talking about bats in a British accent?

    Stupid robbers…they didn’t think it through.

    Another hilarious post, guys! 😉

  6. nobody would’ve noticed Gumby guy in new york.

  7. Who doesn’t like old school Batman? Pure and yet hipster-ironic at the same time. Hope the cat’s not dead.

    Now for a chant of “We’re number four! We’re number four!” In a school sports league here, they decided to create an “antique bronze” medal to go to the 4th place team in their tournaments, instead of nothing and a hearty handshake, which is what those people used to get. Maybe you could make up antique bronze medal for yourselves.

  8. stevesw says:

    It did, they found him wandering around the ‘Bat Cave’ with no underwear, looking lost ”Holy senior dementia, Batman, I’m not qualified to deal with this!”

    Where did he leave the Gumby costume?

  9. brainrants says:

    Sweet Jesus is this shite for real?? Hilarious.

  10. Hey Gents,
    This is my first time reading your site. Great stuff. It’s not easy to make me laugh these days but you are spot on. Thanks for your comment as well Congratulations on being 4th in the UK.

  11. Hey Gents,
    This is my first time reading your site. Great stuff. It’s not easy to make me laugh these days but you are spot on. Thanks for your comment as well Congratulations on being 4th in the UK.

  12. I always hated stupid Gumby – really wanted to nail his head to top of a building and jump off holding his feet…oh, maybe that’s where bungie jumping got started…others felt the same?
    Seriously, you see these guys in TV robbing places and have to wonder: When other customers see these costumed guys entering a place, don’t any of them think “Hmmmm, somthing’s wrong there….” ?
    Hilarious post

  13. I saw the gumby man on the news- hilarious!!

  14. I was always leery of that gumby…shifty..

  15. […] Old School Batman, Ryan Makes a Mistake and TV Characters Raiding Shops […]

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  17. larrydb says:

    Some funny bits. I like the part about the cat.

  18. Just added your blog to my “laughs” favorites section (the pressure is on to keep providing the kind of posts that make little urinary escapes a daily issue). Hilarious! You would be so fun to have a beer with. The world needs more creatures like you. And….I believe you ramble even more than I do…Keep up the good work!

  19. dannpaniccia says:

    It’s journalistic and entertaining. I look forward to reading more.

  20. The Hook says:

    My daughter just watched an episode of the old school Batman and was she shocked!

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