Abusing Muppet’s and a Drunken Elk

Posted: September 12, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Ryan, what was the phone call about, just?

RYAN: Erm apparently a complaint has been made about one of the roadie’s for being rude on the phone to someone from events management

JOWETT: Really?

MIKE: Do they have the name of the person?

RYAN: Apparently not, he wouldn’t give them his name. Apparently he just sounded strange

MIKE: Right, you’re sacked, Bean Bag


JOWETT: We have had more comments and email’s asking about Bean Bag and when he will be back. People miss him

RYAN: Weird

JOWETT: Mmm I think he makes people feel better about themselves. But he will be back at some point, he will get his moment

MIKE: In court


JOWETT: Erm do we have a film review?

JOEL: Afraid not. I know one I want to watch though

JOWETT: Go on?

JOEL: The Muppet Movie

JOWETT: (Tuts) Seriously?

MIKE: Sorry, were you expecting him to say the kings speech?

JOWETT: (Laughs) Yeah fair enough. The Muppet’s haven’t been around in ages

JOEL: I know, what have they been doing?

JOWETT: They aren’t real, mate. They have been in a box or on a coat hanger for the past few years

MIKE: Imagine if it turned out that they were real?

JOWETT: Well, you will never find out

MIKE: Yeah I will, just cut into Kermit, see if he screams


JOWETT: This is why you never got that job at Jim Henson Productions, suggesting ideas like that

MIKE: “Now on the Muppet Show, The Muppet centipede”

JOWETT: (Laughing) Oh my god!


JOWETT: Doesn’t Jim Henson’s son carry on the Muppet’s these days? Brian Henson?

MIKE: Yeah, I think he does it apprehensively though. He was jealous his dad spent more time with Kermit than him, so he beats up Kermit (Daft bitter voice) “Dad prefered YOU!” I bet he did that damage to Tiny Tim, its why he had a bad leg



MIKE: I bet he took advantage of Miss Piggy aswell, she has had three of his children that he has probably kept quiet


JOWETT: Id like to take this opportunity to say Brain Henson does not abuse his Muppet’s


JOWETT: Anyway I want to talk about this story I saw in the news. It has been covered to death but I thought it was funny so I’m going to discuss it with you

MIKE: Go on…

JOWETT: ‘A homeowner in southern Sweden got a shock when he found a drunken elk stuck in his neighbour’s apple tree. The moose was apparently on the hunt for fermenting apples when it lost it’s balance and became trapped in the tree. Per Johansson, from Saro near Gothenburg, found the elk making a roaring noise in the garden next door. He called the emergency services, who helped him free the boozed-up beast by sawing off branches. She spent the night recovering in the garden’


JOWETT: (Laughs) It’s good, isn’t it? Imagine finding that in your back garden. An pissed up Elk tangled in a tree

JOEL: It said it went hunting for fermented apples?


JOEL: So did it know it was going to get it drunk?

JOWETT: I wouldn’t have thought so, Joel. I don’t think he had just had a hard day

JOEL: You don’t know that

MIKE: “My wife has left me, hit me with another apple” “I think you have had enough mate”


JOWETT: I like this bit “The next day she took herself off into the woods with her hangover”. (Laughs) Like it woke up in the morning and went “Christ my head! What happened to me last night? What are all these people doing around me? Ahh im off in to the woods, I can’t face people today”. The story goes on to say “Drunken elk are not an uncommon sight in Sweden during autumn, when there are plenty of apples about. Other residents of Saro had seen the elk on the loose in the preceding days”

MIKE: Like it was freshers week?

JOWETT: (Laughs) Yeah. Okay Let’s wrap this up. Goodbye from us all here!

We are still looking for people interested in doing an interview with the lads, if you are, send us an email! Also keep signing up to the Twitter and Facebook pages. We are also on Bloglovin so follow us on that to help us get to the top of the humor chart!

  1. I’m with Joel – The Muppets are awesome. Don’t hate. 😉

    Another hilarious post, guys…so random and so funny!

  2. I must say.. too funny. Love the Muppets. Can’t wait to see it, and to hear your review! lol.

  3. I had no idea elk’s could get drunk on apples! Funny post as always.

  4. the muppets aren’t real??? as for the moose – in future she oughta just go to a pub.

  5. stevesw says:

    Great title! I think you are spot on about Miss Piggy’s kids; she did play the field.

  6. the master says:

    This is one of very few sites that legitimately makes laugh, and out loud, might I add. “Abusing your Muppets” – that has to be the new euphemism of choice!

    I remember Walking With Beasts featured little prehistoric horses getting drunk on some fruit or other, then being eaten by a giant killer bird. What effect this had on said bird they didn’t show, but that moose wants to think itself lucky it didn’t live 55 million years ago.

  7. suzicate says:

    Thank you for the bit of random hilarity in my morning! I think I’d freak if I walked out and found a drunken elk stuck in a tree in my yard…no elks aropund here so it would more likely be a bear, I’d still freak!

  8. Lace says:

    Hahaha. I’m not a fan of the muppet’s but did find this funny. “Just cut into kermit…” Classic.

  9. TInks says:


  10. gigoid says:

    Very funny stuff….I read the two latest blogs, and I’ll be back to read more…you read my blog, and clicked the Like button, which is why I checked out your blog. I’m happy you enjoyed the posted Pearls of Virtual Wisdom; I’ve been writing them on a daily basis for almost 11 years now…..feel free to comment should you come by again. Thanks for reading it…..

    • Oooo what a marvellous idea that led to you 2 being here together! but only Lowett would actually make it to H E as-well! Amazing minds collide and sha bam, the gods are the slaves!

      Soooooo funny reading this, wicked humour at it’s highest peak 😉

  11. UsneakydevilU says:

    Funny; Muppet Movie is classic, that Piggy looking chick is HOT!

  12. I think there is a new muppet movie coming out if Joel is interested in reviewing it… great post! Glad Joel is back.

  13. The Hook says:

    Great post! Funny, well-written (seriously!) and even “Muppety”! What more could you ask for?

  14. kidfos says:

    “Now on the Muppet Show, The Muppet centipede”

    I vote for Burt, Cookie Monster and Elmo. Might make hopscotch with the others tricky, but would be unbeatable at twister. …

  15. muddledmom says:

    Enjoyed the part about Henson’s kid. And elk in a tree? I don’t know how it’s possible, but thanks for the image. Pretty funny stuff.

  16. Ive not heard of bloglovin but I will look it up and follow. Loved the line ‘in a box or on a coat hanger for the past few years.’ This has to be one of the better conversations…well at least for me.

  17. deuceft says:

    Ok, I get the part about the drunk elk, but by god, how hammered would it have been to get up all the way on to the tree… Probably go dumped the day before or must’ve had a bad date or something for sure. :)) Awesome post 😀

  18. Yeah, this was some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long, long time from anyone that wasn’t being paid to be a stand up comedian.

    Jeez, if you guys ever come to Australia let me know. Would love to hang with my over the pond brethren.

  19. Hilarious! I’ll take your word about Brian and the Muppet’s. Although, I’m not completely convinced.

  20. Nurban says:

    Great post!!
    Here in the states, it’s not just elk that get pissed. Case in point, this dirty, daft squirrel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0so5er4X3dc
    Don’t laugh… we’ve all been there.

  21. Lowett you are a fooooooking genius. Can’t wait to send in some movie reviews, hearing of Joels toilet blow job was soooooo funny, that I’ve decided to think of some good questions for him. He seems a little hesistant to tell jokes! ahhhhh bless! I guess he’s a little shy by nature!!!! Trouble is that people like bean bag dont get noted without Betty stepping in with deliverances :))) so along comes polly and fucking Karma goes wild! brilliant. Literally genius! The only way to hit where it hurts, well not hurt, but destroy…just with a giant tidal wave of ego spanking! Never dent the children, its only their cats that can take dents and get better immediately, especially feral cats… Welcome to fame boys..What more fitting tribute to red water 🙂 may the stories continue. My god, how do people sleep when they endanger people as intrinsic to our survival as kermit or miss piggy!! :))) Justice is hidden everywhere :))) I shall be back to peruse the exposure of such enlightening jokes and events as they unfold. No Monster Munch for you this time baby! You’re smart but there are at least 2 people smarter, OH FUCK, how can this possibly be when you are God!!!! Oh the powers of warped perception :)) LAUGH OUT FOOOOOOKING LOUD!

  22. camsgranny says:

    Totally enjoyed this one…thanks for the laugh today!

  23. C. says:

    Thanks for a much needed laugh, you outrageous boys!

  24. Meredith Barnes says:

    Funny conversations…thanks for lettin us “eavesdrop”!!

  25. Rae says:

    Lord, those conversations about the Muppets had me on the floor. I’m done. Love it!!!

    ((poor Kermie – in my Miss Piggy voice))

  26. Can’t say no to Muppets. Good stuff.

  27. “Cut into Kermit. See if he screams.” That is hilarious- I may be quoting that all day! Thanks for the Like. Right back at ya!

  28. Too funny! Good stuff.

  29. auntierv says:

    Maybe the elk was drunk before it got stuck in the tree. It could have thought (while looking at the tree)”What a nice set of racks! I shall mount you!” 😀

    btw, thanks for stopping by my blog and the “like”; much appreciated.

    Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life

    Auntie RV

    • Thanks for ‘like’ on my Yoga Dog Blog. Glad we found each other (and I mean that in the most appropriate way). Don’t you love writing dialogue? Good stuff, keep it up (and I mean that in the most appropriate way). M.

  30. the Muppet Centipede! Oh dear god heheheh
    as always a wonderful interview Jowett.

  31. Tori Nelson says:

    Miss Piggy love children…THAT is movie material.

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