Joel is back! But will he win the right to stay on the blog?

Posted: September 8, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

JOWETT: Hello again!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Hello

JOWETT: JOEL IS BACK!

Cheering from around the room

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: How are you mate?

JOEL: Better now

JOWETT: Good good. As you know, in your absence, Bean Bag has been filling in for you

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: There were some rumours, sparked by Mike, that he had killed you and turned you into a rug

Laughter

MIKE: I never said rug, just kidnapped

JOWETT: Well either way, your back

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: However! A lot of people loved Bean Bag as a guest on this and BB himself has suggested he should carry on taking your place

JOEL: Right

JOWETT: We thought about it and decided, in the interest of fairness, to put you through a quiz. If you pass the quiz you will retain your place and Bean Bag will go back to spending his lunchtime at the home for abandoned cats

Laughter

JOWETT: Okay?

JOEL: Err yeah. What are the questions on?

JOWETT: Just one’s we came up with, some are stolen from the Weakest Link I think. I’m confident you will do okay. But, in the interest of fairness, we will be fair to Bean Bag and help you

JOEL: Okay

JOWETT: Okay first question. Hallie Berry was in a film called ‘Monsters ……..

JOEL: INC?

Laughter

JOWETT: YEP! Next question. What was the name of the child in the ‘Jungle Book’?

JOEL: Errr (Pause) Jim?

Laughter

JOWETT: Yeah yeah, finally, who was the second person to walk on the moon?

JOEL: Ah! Errrr b b buzz err buzz….

JOWETT: Yeah?…

JOEL: Buzz, Buzz (Pause) Buzz Lightyear?

Laughter

JOWETT: Yes! It is! Welcome back Joel, you have retained your space on this blog!

RYAN: Honestly thought he was going to get that last one

MIKE: And me

JOWETT: Ahhh back to normal. Right I wanted to talk about the last post

MIKE: Which bit?

JOWETT: Well In the last post we talked about the modern cultural issue’s missing from ‘Harry Potter’

MIKE: Yeah, while you were gone, Joel, we talked about high brow stuff!

JOWETT: Get out Mike! Your contribution was claiming that “Iraqi looking wizards, jumping barriers at train stations would get shot”

Laughter

MIKE: I never said ‘Iraqi looking!’

PING

Laughter

MIKE: I DIDN’T SAY IT!

JOWETT: WHAT DID YOU SAY THEN?

MIKE: …..’black mate’

JOWETT:  Anyway I was going to say, that we forgot to mention that the character ‘Dumbledore’ was gay

MIKE: (Tuts) Shut up

JOWETT: He was mate, J K Rowling admitted it! I mean they didn’t discuss it in the book or films

Laughter

JOWETT: They never had a scene where Dumbledore was in a string vest and leather hot pants hanging around outside public toilets

Laughter

MIKE: It never came up in the book? The other wizard teachers never said anything?

JOWETT: (Laughs) No mate, they were quite liberal

MIKE: So are you saying being gay is an issue ? Oh you make me sick!

JOWETT: Shut up, it’s not an issue. I’m just saying, it’s a modern factor. 1 in 3 people are gay, so she thought ‘Well I better make one of them gay’ and therefore chose the dominating father figure of thousands of children in a school

Laughter

JOWETT: (Laughs) Look at management with his hand hovering over the PING button wearing a confused look on his face trying to decide wether there was something wrong with that last sentence

MIKE: Made some comments today haven’t you!

JOWETT: Behave!

RYAN: To be fair, Mike, you have spent the week trying to ‘out’ one of our technicians

JOWETT: What?

RYAN: He has decided one of our technicians is a closet homosexual

JOWETT: Who? And based on what?

MIKE: Callum, and based on the fact the evidence is stacked against him!

JOWETT: For legal reasons can you just point out that you haven’t got a problem with him being gay

MIKE: Well obviously. But I think he is but he’s hiding it. I’m honestly just trying to get him to be himself!

Laughter

JOWETT: Pfft come off it

MIKE: Nah Iv got a bet on with someone

JOWETT: Well he doesn’t look gay. For the readers Callum is a chubby lad with longish brown hair. Give me reasons for you suspect him to be gay

MIKE: He likes ‘Westlife’

JOWETT: Fair enough

Laughter

JOWETT: I’m joking, you can’t base it just on that fact

MIKE: Erm he get’s his eyebrows waxed

JOWETT: Mmmm

MIKE: AND! He has his nipple pierced. When I called him on it and said it’s gay, he said “It’s not gay, Nathan off One Tree Hill has his nipple pierced”

Laughter

MIKE: Saying THAT makes you gay

JOWETT: This sounds like bullying

MIKE: Whatever! I remember once you said he looked like a diabetic Justin Bieber!

Laughter

JOWETT: (Laughing) that’s not true

MIKE: It is

JOWETT: Stop it now, leave that lad alone and let’s move on. I’m going to try to claw back some normal innocent chat. Erm, Ah, on Twitter, someone I was following was asking people what is their favourite romantic movie scene of all time. Mike, a chance to redeem yourself, what is your favourite romantic movie scene? Show your nicer side

MIKE: Erm (Pause) The shower scene in ‘Schindler’s..

JOWETT: RIGHT THAT’S IT FOR THIS POST!

Laughter

PING PING PING

JOWETT: IT’S OKAY IV’E GOT IT! It’s goodbye from everyone here, maybe forever thanks to Mike. Maybe we will see you next week! Goodbye!

Thank you once again for reading. I think if there was ever a post to be considered for the freshly pressed page IT’S THIS ONE! absolutely no swearing at all! Keep following us on Twitter and Facebook, you can find the links on the left hand side of the page. Also sign up to follow us on Bloglovin, we are climbing the Humor chart rapidly and want to get to the top! We are also looking at doing exclusive interviews for other people to put on their blogs, maybe as a band or individually. The intervew will be exclusive to your blog only and you will get to ask the questions, anything you want. If interested, sign up and express your interest!

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Comments
  1. Once again, absolutely hilarious!

    And just for the record, I can’t think of any straight guys who like Westlife, wax their eyebrows, and/or watch One Tree Hill. I mean, I’m a girl and I don’t even do those things…

    Also, I’m glad that Joel’s back and all, but I’ve gotta be honest…I miss Bean Bag!

    • Thank you! Much appreciated!

      Yeah Mike may be right about this one. He has to drop it soon before a court case materialises

      Yeah good to have Joel back but we will have Bean Bag back at some point, dont worry

  2. Welcome back Joel! Have to admit, I can’t think of any straight guys who do those things either, and the only gay guy I knew had his eyebrow piecered rather than his nipple.

    Keep it up!

  3. wannabfamous says:

    I am interested in doing an interview. I want to inquire about the bands creative development of song writing and is your muse.

  4. PC PHOTO says:

    Welcome Back and thanks for stopping by my blog 😉

  5. Blogdramedy says:

    How can I not request an interview. Details please like how many questions and if there’s anything off limits. I don’t fancy a post full of pings and no comments…although writing the lead up to the pings and no comments could be interesting. 😉

    • Well as many question as you want really! There isn’t really anythin off limits because anything you ask they will manage to bring it back round to filth or something. I am trying to work out how to conduct the intervew. Maybe send in your questions and I will ask them to the lads? There wont be any pings because I wil conduct it all myself and just try and cut them off if they say anything too offensive.

  6. The Hook says:

    Here’s to the successful completion of your quest – being Freshly Pressed!
    Good luck!

  7. ermigal says:

    The interview offer sounds tempting but who shall I tell my followers is being interviewed? Aren’t you anonymous?

  8. Pigeon Heart says:

    I wanna be a part of the banter! I take well to buses and things. And totally have a traveling bug. Take me with you!

  9. Dumbledore is gay??? Awesome. Didn’t know that. Funny stuff! Thanks for checking out my blog!

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