Discussing the cultural issue’s missing from Harry Potter

Posted: September 5, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Well, we are back again! I’m here with the lad’s. We found Joel, turns out he was ill at home and no one thought to ring him. He is still a bit ill so standing in for him, once again, is Bean Bag

BEAN BAG: Can you stop calling me that, its offensive. If you want to give me a nickname, call me ‘sensei’ after my samurai background

MIKE: Nah that’s not gonna happen, Beanie Bag


BEAN BAG: I suggest you do

MIKE: Why? We have got more security now pal, you go near me and some great big bald f**ker will fold you up like origami


JOWETT: I think the deal is, Mike, is that your nicer to him, now you have more security. Joel didn’t get this much abuse. And also I must point out to Bean Bag that the security isn’t because of him

MIKE: No no, we have another roadie that resembles a bead filled cushion that threatens to kill or f**k us, it’s for him


JOWETT: (Laughing) Michael, please. Anyway, we have a few items to get through on this post. Mike has compiled his own quiz for us to do and also, because we have missed Joel’s film reviews, we have got Bean Bag reviewing a film, which is…

BEAN BAG: ‘Harry Potter’

JOWETT: Bet you loved that!

BEAN BAG: Not really, not my thing

MIKE: Course It is


JOWETT: You don’t like Harry potter?


JOWETT: Well, you do surprise me. I’ve seen them all, Mike and Ryan have seen the odd one so aren’t that familiar with it so I will fill the gaps where necessary. Come on then, let’s have the review, what’s wrong with the film?

BEAN BAG: Well I think children’s films should have an underlying message or teach them about modern issue’s. I don’t think Harry Potter has anything like that running through it

JOWETT: Right, what modern issue’s do you think it should cover?

BEAN BAG: Immigration


RYAN: How? (Daft voice) “Bloody house elf’s coming over here, stealing our women, running Taxi services”


BEAN BAG: Okay then, what about terrorism?

JOWETT: Well that would have been a different film if terrorism was covered. All of them sat on the Hogwarts Express, happily buying chocolate frogs while in the next carriage someone pulls a rip cord from their chest shouting “Praise Allah”


MIKE: Harry’s black mate decides to jump the barrier at platform 9 3/4 so police put a bullet in his head


JOWETT: (Laughing) OHHH DEAR! I have just been handed a piece of paper from management that just simply says ‘Stop it’


JOWETT: Too much controversy for the Ping to handle. Anyway, Mike, let’s get this quiz rolling

MIKE: Okay. I was thinking for what to base this quiz on, and after asking around about Bean Bag, I have decided to base the quiz on him


MIKE: Only one question though, but it’s tricky


MIKE: I’ve heard that, in total, you had six pet cat’s


MIKE: Well my question to Jowett and Ryan is, what happened to them?

RYAN: Christ, how long have we got?


JOWETT: Not really a question, more of a police investigation. No offense

BEAN BAG: None taken, I have nothing to hide

JOWETT: What do you mean, what happened to them? Are they all gone?


JOWETT: The RSPCA will kick the fu**in door down, Mike. Is this wise?

MIKE: Just write down what you think what happened to them. Individually

JOWETT: Never gonna this right

MIKE: Actually, he has mentioned the deaths of all of his cat’s before

RYAN: Are any of their deaths unusual?

MIKE: Surprisingly, no

JOWETT: Okay I’m just gonna go have a stab in the dark

MIKE: Okay I will read out the answer. Road, Ant Powder, Road, Ran Away, Pond, Road

JOWETT: Arghhh I actually got a few of them right

MIKE: What did you say?

JOWETT: Either run over, ran away or poisoned

MIKE: Ryan?

RYAN: Unless Road, Ant Powder and Pond are sex positions, I got it wrong


BEAN BAG: Too far. I’m not happy about this

JOWETT: Aww he doesn’t mean it. You need to lighten up. Have you been on holiday this summer?

BEAN BAG: Yes I went to a fantasy holiday camp

JOWETT: What’s that?

BEAN BAG: It’s a bit like a week-long version of capture the flag, but more intense. You live in a camp with your team and have to take over the rival camp. It’s brilliant, you get to use weapons and you could come under fire at any time

MIKE: Christ, who do you book your holidays with, Al-Qaeda?


JOWETT:  I think we better wrap this up

BEAN BAG: I want to point out, the ones that died, I had nothing to do with the death’s

JOWETT: Sure sure. Anyway, no offense to Bean Bag, but we hope Joel is better for the next post

BEAN BAG: None taken

JOWETT: Until next time! Tra!

  1. I hope Joel’s better too, I love his film reviews 🙂 Keep the posts coming, certainly had me giggling at work.

    P.S. Thanks for liking my blogpost too

  2. rumpydog says:

    Ya mean there was actually a face in HP that wasn’t white? I had no idea there was actually a bit of diversity in there.

  3. Eb says:

    ” Christ, who do you book your holidays with, Al-Qaeda?”

  4. are you sure Joel isnt dead?

  5. Naah, ur correct. Pond is a terrific position… for frogs.

  6. John Hansen says:

    Thank you for liking my post, imonthebandwagon. You should subscribe to it and join my four follows (*he says with a sarcastic triumph*) even if you don’t read a signle post. Just to make me feel warm inside. 🙂 Hehehe.

  7. John Hansen says:

    :). Five and counting.

  8. Seriously…started laughing at “BEAN BAG: Can you stop calling me that, its offensive.” and couldn’t stop pretty much the whole way through!

    You guys are absolutely hilarious. I want to be friends with you…especially Bean Bag. I think he’s my favourite.

  9. melaniekate says:

    Hahahaha! This is funny stuff!

  10. Greetings from Texas. This is some pretty funny stuff.



  11. The Hook says:

    I’ll never look at Harry Potter the same way again….

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