Get On the Band Wagon!
JOWETT: Hello!
MIKE: Hello
RYAN: Hello
JOWETT: Joel is missing, like properly missing.
Laughter
JOWETT: It’s not really funny, we haven’t spoken to him in two days. We can’t even use this to ask people to look for him because it’s anonymous, the irony. So to replace him in this post, which is no way related to the disappearance of Joel, we have BEAN BAG!
BEAN BAG: Hello
JOWETT: You have even come prepared with a game you would like to play in this post, is that true?
BEAN BAG: Yeah
JOWETT: OKay we will get on to that a bit later. In the meantime what have you been up to since we last spoke to you?
BEAN BAG: Not a lot
JOWETT: Do you go out much? Like drinking? I imagine you’re a bit of a character once you have had a few down you?
BEAN BAG: I don’t actually drink
JOWETT: Really?
BEAN BAG: When you’re drunk you’re reactions are affected and your guard is down. The last time I drank there was an incident in which there might have been a biting
JOWETT: A biting?
BEAN BAG: I can’t remember the full details of what happened that night but according to the police reports there was a biting
MIKE: I heard you got into a turf war with a squirrel
Laughter
JOWETT: (Nervously Laughing) Michael, don’t. Anyway, have you not been up to anything else?
BEAN BAG: I have been restoring an old bike in my spare time, in my shed
JOWETT: Hmm really, what else is in this shed?
BEAN BAG: Bits and pieces
MIKE: Of Joel?
Laughter
JOWETT: Ohhh dear
BEAN BAG: No
MIKE: Where was Joel on your list?
JOWETT: Stop grilling him!
MIKE: Just interested!
JOWETT: let’s play your game, move this along
BEAN BAG: Okay, it’s a mini quiz I have devised, I came up with them a few minutes ago. Thought it would be a good idea to fill the post instead of news
JOWETT: ……Okay
BEAN BAG: I have given you all pieces of paper and a pen so you can mark down your answers
JOWETT: Yep, you have questions there for us?
BEAN BAG: Yeah
JOWETT: Take it away then!
BEAN BAG: Okay, first question. three ways to completely dispose of bone
MIKE: pfffft
JOWETT: Errr okay, next one
BEAN BAG: What is the capital city of Norway?
Pause
JOWETT: Next one
BEAN BAG: The Suffolk Strangler, Steve Wright, was convicted of five murders on the 22nd of February 2008 (Pauses) who really did it?
MIKE: F**k me
Laughter
JOWETT: (Laughing) Whats up?
MIKE: I’m just eyeing up the exits, mate! Don’t worry about me
BEAN BAG: Which is the fifth planet from the sun?
Pause
JOWETT: Next one
BEAN BAG: Finally, what caused the death of approximately 800,000 people in Africa in 1994?
JOWETT: (Laughing) Right
BEAN BAG: Once you have written down your final answer I will take them off you and add up the scores
Ryan Laughs
JOWETT: What?
RYAN: Mike’s answer to every question is ‘Bean Bag’
BEAN BAG: Childish. So I caused the death of 800,000 African’s then?
JOWETT: Don’t answer that. Who won?
BEAN BAG: Errm (Pause) No one
JOWETT: Everyone got the questions wrong?
BEAN BAG: It appears so yes
Laughter
BEAN BAG: I thought this might happen so I have prepared a tie-break question. Who ever answers this question first, wins
JOWETT: Okay
BEAN BAG: In 2009 Mattel celebrated the 50 th anniversary of Barbie…
MIKE: Ay?
BEAN BAG: As part of a series to celebrate the toy’s 50 th birthday, Mattel brought out a Barbie doll based on which German politician?
MIKE: Goebbles?
BEAN BAG: No
RYAN: Goering?
BEAN BAG: (Sounding fed up) Why? Why would they base a Barbie doll on a Nazi?
RYAN: I dunno, it’s your question!
BEAN BAG: Forget it, im not playing anymore
MIKE: Ooooooo
BEAN BAG: Don’t wind me up
Laughter
JOWETT: Don’t Mike. let’s change the subject. Erm I wanted to ask, do you have a…partner at the moment?
BEAN BAG: No
JOWETT: Did you use to? I heard from some of the other roadie’s you did, but broke up?
BEAN BAG: Well yeah but we broke up
JOWETT: Ah, was it bad?
BEAN BAG: I didn’t let it phase me
JOWETT: Mmm I was told about it actually
BEAN BAG: Told what?
JOWETT: That after it…..you were so heartbroken you couldn’t even look your cat in the eye
Laughter
MIKE: If that cat could talk!
BEAN BAG: Well it can’t because it’s dead. Suppose I could have asked it why it ran out in front of that car
MIKE: THREW itself in front of that car
Laughter
JOWETT: Oookay then! Let’s finish this. Hopefully Joel will be back next week! So until next time! Goodbye!
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imonthebandwagon 
god. Mike’s next…..
Joel was packed up and murdered in Suffolk, most of his body fed to pigs, the rest of him scattered in pieces up in Norway as he’s somehow connected to the Rwandan genocide. Conspiracy! Bean Bag makes me nervous!
Hehe, I spent a minute looking online until I found the Angela Merkel Barbi doll. I had to know! I agree with tinkerbelle, Mike should have someone else start his car for a few weeks, Bean Bag sounds a bit dangerous.
Jowett…I wanted to tell you this privately but Joel called and said he’s not coming back until Bean Bag’s been “fixed.” Before I could ask him to define “fixed” he hung up but before the handset slammed down I heard the song “Feelings” playing in the background. I don’t think that’s a good sign…do you?
haha mm no, BB’s back garden is being dug up as we speak
Heh, nice and very entertaining blog you got here!
Glad I checked it out, will be dropping in again for sure.
Cheers all!
I’ve not checked back to earlier instalments yet – because I get a sense of foreboding…
a bit of the ricky gervais in this. continue…
First off, thanks for Liking my blogpost! Visit often! Thanks! This was clever reading here…I love witty humor and dry humor… Great post!
You Are Awesome! Too Cool! keri
Haha Harry Potter is lame. What kid aspires to be a wizard who can cast spells, but can’t cure his own near-sightedness?
Jowett, you officially have the coolest friends ever!