The band member that cried MULTH

Posted: August 30, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Hello!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Firstly I need to ask about something that I heard Joel say earlier

RYAN: What?

JOWETT: Well I heard him say something like “One of you has stolen the laces from my shoes”

Laughter

JOWETT: And then Ryan said “Stop it, remember the band member who cried MULTH”. What’s MULTH?

RYAN: Well a few months ago Joel made some accusations that he couldn’t back up. MULTH stands for Mike is Unessesairly Leaving me THreats

Laughter

RYAN: He reckoned Mike was leaving him threatening messages but when we asked to see them, so he could back up these claims, he reckoned Mike had taken them back

JOWETT: (Laughing) How? How did he get them back?

JOEL: He asked for them back

JOWETT: So you gave them to him?

JOEL: Well yeah

Laughter

MIKE: Ridiculous isn’t it?

JOWETT: Well yeah, I mean it sounds suspect, but I think there might be some truth in it

MIKE: Nah, no proof!

JOEL: It is true, I was going to keep them and show you but he said he really needed them back, so I gave them to him

Laughter

JOWETT: Okay, You are an idiot, Joel. In future, keep the threats, even if he asks for them back

JOEL: Okay

JOWETT: Anyway, here is a story from the news. ‘Paintball bursts breast implant’

RYAN: (Disgusted) Eurgh what?

JOWETT: Well “A woman is recovering after her breast implant burst when she was shot in the chest during a game of paintball. The 26-year-old’s soft gel implant ruptured under her skin when the ball hit her breast at 190mph”

MIKE: Christ

JOWETT: “It caused UK Paintball, which operates more than 50 facilities nationwide, to insist that women with breast implants wear extra chest protection. The company’s standard indemnity form now points out that paint balls can damage breast implants” (Laughs) Sounds like they have put that on their advertisement campaigns ‘UK PAINTBALL, NOW SO POWERFULL IT WILL BUST YOUR FAKE TIT’S!

JOWETT: “At first she thought it was just a painful bruise. But when she went to see a doctor a few days later, he revealed the force of the impact had torn the implant. A UK Paintball spokesman said “Part of the fun of paintball is that it hurts a bit when you get shot”

RYAN: I bet a lot of people get more than just hurt at UK Paintball

MIKE: Mmm sounds like they have to constantly trawl out that sentence (Daft voice) “Being hurt in paintball is half the fun!”

Laughter

RYAN: (Daft voice) “Trips and falls are half the fun!”

Laughter

RYAN: (Daft Voice) “Introducing the odd real bullet, is half the fun!”

PING

Laughter

JOWETT: (Laughing) Yeah yeah okay, I must point out that UK Paintball don’t introduce “The odd real bullet”. Anyway I will finish it off, the spokesman said “The incident has been a real wakeup call and nobody should ever feel worried for their safety during a game of paintball. But it’s worth remembering that having bigger breasts will make you an easier target for your enemies.”

MIKE: obviously

JOWETT: Yep. Anyway there is another story that caught my eye. ‘Cross-eyed possum goes into retirment’

MIKE: This news you keep reading out, is for idiots

JOWETT: Well, do you want to tell us your thoughts on Gaddafi?

MIKE: Who?

JOWETT: Exactly. “Heidi the cross-eyed opossum is being put into retirement at the ripe old age of three-and-a-half to save her from the stress of her celebrity lifestyle” (Laughs) Celebrity lifestyle?

RYAN: Celebrity lifestyle!? Have they sent it to rehab?

MIKE: (Daft voice) It was crazy time’s man, I was doing my own body weight in crack and my relationship with one of the pussy cat dolls went tit’s up and then of course I punched a photographer

Laughter

JOWETT: It says “The mad-eyed marsupial became a worldwide sensation from her enclosure at Leipzig Zoo, Germany, when pictures of her appeared on the internet”

RYAN: What? I’ve never heard of it

JOWETT: ‘Hundreds of thousands signed up to become her Facebook friends and she even had a stint at co-hosting an Oscars show in a live TV link-up with Hollywood. Now keepers say she must withdraw from public life so she can enjoy what’s left of her life in peace and quiet. Zoo spokesman Fabian Schmidt explained: “Heidi’s lifestyle could have contributed to her problems so we have put her into retirement.”

MIKE: Ridiculous, we are living this lifestyle and prostitutes never made Ryan cross-eyed

RYAN: (Tuts) Shut up

JOWETT: Your just jealous because this Possum is more famous than you

MIKE: Pfft behave

JOWETT: Well have you ever presented the Oscars? Well then. “Heidi is even to be separated from her breeding partner Teddy to save her from being bothered” (Laughs) In case what? Teddy tries to get it to sell its story to the papers or appear on Oprah?

Laughter

JOWETT: Anyway, Let’s end this here. Until next time! Goodbye!

MIKE: Tra!

RYAN: Bye

JOEL: Bye

KEEP SIGNING UP THE FACEBOOK PAGE! AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY DONE SO!

Also we are now on Bloglovin! You will find the link on the left hand side of the page, click on it and help us climb the comedy blog charts!

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Suzie Ivy says:

    Are you sure you’re not jocks in disguise?

  2. Blogdramedy says:

    Now I know Madonna’s thinking behind her torpedo-style bra…one too many injuries sustained while playing paint ball. That woman is amazing! 🙂

  3. mario says:

    I’ve got some threats for Joel… Where do I ship them to?

  4. sarsm says:

    I wonder if it was my sister…? (paintball incident)

  5. Bella says:

    Is it just me or does anyone else think women in general should wear extra breast protection and not just the ones with the fake mammaries?

  6. the master says:

    That breast implant story sounds like something the Mythbusters should test.

  7. genesismeranda says:

    MIKE: This news you keep reading out, is for idiots

    JOWETT: Well, do you want to tell us your thoughts on Gaddafi?

    MIKE: Who?

    bahahahahahaha!

  8. Maxim says:

    So is this a real conversation or what?? If it is, it’s pretty epic.

  9. imakeeper says:

    bahahaha I have never been remotely close to the UK, but now if I ever do visit I am going to be sure to avoid Heidi in her retirement glory (i’d hate to cause her more stress)

  10. richripley says:

    A paintball injury? I bet that stopped the romance for a day or two.

  11. I don’t know why reading this made me laugh.. and I agree with the master.. this sounds like something the Mythbusters should test

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s