Band members upbringing, Ryan’s rapping and Psychiatrists

Posted: August 23, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Hello!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Howdy

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Errm to start off I was just looking at Twitter. P. Diddy left an inspirational quote type thing on Twitter. “Never sacrifice who you are just because somebody has a problem with it. Be you. Always

MIKE: Well, unless your prison psychiatrist says otherwise, then you should probably stop


JOWETT: Yeah in those instances you probably shouldn’t, If any nutcase, P.Diddy fans have seen that he’s probably just undoing years of psychiatric treatment to stop them thinking it’s okay to walk down the street and lunge at strangers with scissors


JOWETT: Also there was another trending topic ‘Replacing movie names with Voldemort’

MIKE: Is he out of  Harry Potter?

JOWETT: Yeah. Can you think of any good one’s?

MIKE: Erm, which actor played him?

JOWETT: Ralph Finnes, I think

MIKE: What other films has he…..I’VE GOT ONE!

RYAN: You will regret asking him this

MIKE: ‘Voldemort’s list’!

JOWETT: What? I don’t unders…..oh! OHHHH FOR FFFF


JOWETT: Mike there, thinking it’s funny to place a fictional evil wizard in a film about the holocaust


RYAN: Do you reckon Bean Bag has ever been to a psychiatrist?

JOWETT: Mmm for those who haven’t read the last post, ‘Bean Bag’ is one of our roadie’s. We interviewed him last week and he came out with some unusual stuff, so we might keep him out of future interviews


JOWETT: Unless people want to hear more from him. We should probably keep updated on where you all are on the list!

MIKE: We didn’t need to ever know about that! Now we are all looking over our shoulders! And why did you tell him I said that stuff about him!?

JOWETT: Was funny

MIKE: I’m gonna tell him you have said stuff about him

JOWETT: Fine, I have already done something worse (Laughs)

MIKE: Oh my….what have you done?

JOWETT: (Laughs) Well Bean Bag strikes me as a sorta ‘Mark Chapman’ type nutter so I gave him a copy of ‘Catcher in the rye’ with post-it notes in various parts that just say your name


MIKE: That’s not even funny

RYAN: He is the sort of person to do that though

MIKE: definitely! Like I said before, I could see his mug on the evening news and the headline ‘Roadie suicide bomber levels a cinema during a screening of Planet of the apes’ because he thought it was a documentary or something


MIKE: He is an ideal target for recruitment for Al-Qaeda, no one would suspect him and he’s nuts


MIKE: (Laughs) Not gonna join me on my conversation about recruiting terrorists?


JOWETT: I think that noise has answered that question for you MOVING ON! Have you seen that new ‘Planet of the apes’ film? anyone?

MIKE: Nah we haven’t

JOWETT: Or me, I’ve read good things about it though. It’s a prequel isn’t it?

RYAN: I think so yeah

JOWETT: Mmm so Helena Bonham Carter was just a glint in a chimp’s eye at this point

RYAN: (Laughs) Yeah. It’s about her ancestors rioting

JOWETT: Well maybe we can get Joel to review it. Anyway..

MIKE: I want to talk about Ryan’s rapping


JOWETT: What about it?

MIKE: It’s doing my head in, he walks around with his headphones on, rapping to himself. And even when he isn’t listening to it, he does it anyway

JOWETT: I don’t see the problem

MIKE: It’s awful

RYAN: It’s not! I’m good at rapping mate! Remember that time we met Kid Cudi in that studio! He said I was good!

JOWETT: Did he?

MIKE: Mmm he said it as he hurled a bottle of Captain Morgan’s at the wall and walked off crying


RYAN: Shut up

JOWETT: Well I don’t see a problem with it so im moving on

RYAN: What about Joel’s upcoming interview with that magazine?


MIKE: Oh yeah, he is going to be interviewed about his life and how he got into music etc. He said “I’m going to talk about my hard up-bringing and poverty”


JOWETT: You are joking?

MIKE: Nope

JOWETT: Joel, you didn’t grow up in the Ghetto mate

JOEL: Well it is sort of ‘Rags to ritches’ story

MIKE: No mate, ‘Slags to riches and more slags’ maybe


RYAN: You weren’t even in trouble when you were younger, Mike was the little scum bag


RYAN: Mate you were terrible when you were younger

MIKE: You calling me a hooligan?

RYAN: Well…if the balaclava fits, mate


MIKE: (Tuts) Well I was poor growing up!

RYAN: (Laughing) I know!

MIKE: It’s not funny! You were practically destitute anyway! People used to break into your house and leave money, just to take the piss!


RYAN: That’s not true

JOWETT: Look, stop bickering! I have a story here ‘Man hits 12yr old daughter at her own birthday party’


JOWETT: The Daughter of this bloke apparently tried to restrain her father after he threatened other guests with a broken bottle. So he turned round and dropped her


MIKE: She was only 12?


MIKE: That will lead to psychological problems when she’s older. She will probably grow up to like that

Laughter and groans

JOWETT: Ohhh Mike! Right I’m not taking this any further. I’m ending it here! Until next time! Goodbye!

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  1. This post is hilarious.

  2. Hey dude, thanks for checking out my blog. Glad you get a kick out of it. Just read a bit of yours. Gotta love tour life!

  3. lahgitana says:

    hahahahhha, if the balaclava fits! hahahahaha
    thanks for stopping by my blog–how on earth did you find me?!
    glad you did because these conversations are too insane to be a figment of an imagination and I always need extra insanity around me! Um, I mean that in the nicest way!

  4. Bevie Lopez says:

  5. Blogdramedy says:

    Glad to see the lads haven’t lost their edge while I was away in Montreal. I haven’t seen or heard the word balaclava in years. Now if you could only work the word “short” into one of your conversations… 😉

  6. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m really glad you did. This stuff is funny!

  7. UsneakydevilU says:

    Bloody hilarious!
    Pet peeve, celebrity’s who twitter, generic inspirational quotes!

  8. Cayman Thorn says:

    Holy Crap, that’s funny.

  9. Lizzie Amaro says:

    Hey thanks for the like. First interaction from someone else expect myself there 😛
    That post was hilarious man!

  10. Effectively said & with wonderful timing

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