INTRODUCING: ‘BEAN BAG’ THE ROADIE!

Posted: August 18, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Hello!

RYAN: Hello

MIKE: Howdy

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Well! As promised, we are joined by the famous roadie! Or as Mike refers to you as, ‘Bean bag’!

MIKE: (Laughs) That’s not true

JOWETT: definitely is. Wasn’t it Ryan?

RYAN: (Nervously) Err

Laughter

JOWETT: Right, everyone seem’s scared to talk about this so I’m gonna throw myself into it. Apparently, you are a bit eccentric mate?

BEAN BAG: In what way?

JOWETT: Well, I have seen you on various gig locations but never spoke to you. But apparently, and I’m gonna use ‘apparently’ a lot for legal reasons, but you have a list of people, from the tour team…that you would like to sleep with…in order

BEAN BAG: Yeah?

JOWETT: Yeah (Pause) And am I right in believing that there are men AND women on that list?

BEAN BAG: Yeah. But the top three ARE women

JOWETT: Of course they! Your not weird or anything!

Laughter

JOWETT: So out of interest, are the band on it?

MIKE: Don’t do this

Laughter

JOWETT: Why?

MIKE: Just don’t, I would like this professional relationship we have with bean…with our best roadie to stay professional

Laughter

BEAN BAG: Well actually they all are yeah

MIKE: F**k’s sake!

JOWETT: (Laughs) Good stuff! Can you reveal where they all are on this list of?

BEAN BAG: Twenty

JOWETT: Yeah, where are they on this list of twenty?

BEAN BAG: They are all about mid-table

JOWETT: Right

BEAN BAG: Mike was higher, but I was told he had been making remarks about me, so he has slid down the table..

MIKE: Good

BEAN BAG: Towards the kill zone

Pause

JOWETT: Sorry, what?

BEAN BAG: Well I realised a lot of the team would annoy me as well, so I decided to make the list reversible. If you flip the list upside down, it becomes my kill list

Pause

BEAN BAG: Don’t worry, it’s all hypothetical

JOWETT: Right, this whole interview is a legal nightmare

BEAN BAG: It’s just a joke really, most roadie’s have them….probably

Laughter

JOWETT: Erm yeah it’s all obviously a bit a joke, I understand

RYAN: Do you?

JOWETT: No, not really

Laughter

JOWETT: Erm, you have a ‘Death Book’?

BEAN BAG: Yeah, It’s from a Japanese comic called ‘Death Note’. It’s brilliant

JOWETT: Yeah, erm what do you do with this book then?

BEAN BAG: Well, you write the name of you enemies in the book and then they will die

JOWETT: Yeah, erm you like other comic’s?

BEAN BAG: Yeah

JOWETT: Yeah, Comic book film’s?

BEAN BAG: Yeah

JOWETT: Catwoman?

BEAN BAG: Actually, no. Why?

JOWETT: No reason

Laughter

JOWETT: Do you have any other interesting fact’s about yourself?

BEAN BAG: Erm I trained as a Samurai, briefly

Laughter

JOWETT: Briefly? Watching ‘Kill Bill’ doesn’t count

BEAN BAG: Yeah, for a few months, I learnt how to move without making a noise

MIKE: (Laughing) Course he did

JOWETT: Are you an assassin or something?

BEAN BAG: (Laughs) I wish. I suppose I could do if I really wanted to

JOWETT: Yeah, your wasted as a roadie. You could take people out for us!

BEAN BAG: Who?

JOWETT: No one really it was…..

BEAN BAG: I would need two weeks’ notice

JOWETT: No mate it was just a joke….

BEAN BAG: You probably couldn’t afford me

JOWETT: No (Pause) Probably not. Erm tell us a bit more, what makes you tick?

MIKE: The bomb he eventually wears strapped to his waist when he takes out a shopping centre

Laughter

JOWETT: Your brave!

MIKE: I know, I take it back

JOWETT: Ermm, Did you go to College?

BEAN BAG: Yeah

JOWETT: What did you study?

BEAN BAG: History

JOWETT: Oh right, you interested in any particular part of history or people?

BEAN BAG: Oh I’m interested in all the great iconic people in history

JOWETT: Churchill?

BEAN BAG: Stalin was better

JOWETT: (Confused) Right

BEAN BAG: Mao Tse-Tung

JOWETT: Who’s that?

BEAN BAG: Chinese leader from 1945 to 1976, massacred millions of people while in office

JOEL: Ooh show off! (Pause) I mean because he knew that fact…I didn’t mean the Chinese bloke that murdered all those people

Laughter

JOWETT: I’m sensing a running theme here. Anyone else? (Quietly) that murdered a lot of people

Laughter

BEAN BAG: Loads. Not just leaders though. I like other famous figures as well.  Erm, (Pause) Jack

JOWETT: Kerouac?

BEAN BAG: The Ripper

JOWETT: Course

Laughter

BEAN BAG: I do a bit of writing too

JOWETT: Yeah?

BEAN BAG: Yeah I write a journal, keeps my ideas and stuff

JOWETT: Ideas?

BEAN BAG:  Yeah. My thoughts about everything. I’m currently making notes on immigrants

MIKE: Sorry, Are you re writing ‘Mein Kampf’?

PING

JOWETT: (Laughs) OOOKAY THEN! I think we have heard enough. Until next time, It’s goodbye from everyone here!

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Comments
  1. Am hooked on your posts. Question: Does that certify me as a stalker? (Please say, “no.”)

    BTW: My daughter-violinist is in a band and their conversations seem to go the way of silly and odd, as well. Not always around them, but when am, loads of fun. She’s just 16 and a high school senior, but is looking to work in music industry (study music in college) in/around Nashville (TN) someday. Musicians are the world’s soul.
    Kaukab’s daughter

  2. Think I’m gonna like Bean Bag Heheheheh. OR perhaps that should be Muahahahahaha?
    Fun read as always guys.

  3. please tell me this isnt for real and is something you lads dreamed up. you flip it and its a kill list?! wow. there are no words. what a fella!!

  4. So…will you have him back? Possibly ask him what he thinks of other serial killers like Marilyn Manson or Jeffrey Dahmer. Spooky.

  5. Salman Latif says:

    Hahaha!! That’s one interesting person you got there! 😀

  6. Hahahahahahahaha!I love this.
    He’s a very interesting dude it seems like 😉

  7. Tilly Bud says:

    Funniest one yet. You should keep BB.

  8. Hello! Thanks for the ‘Like’ 🙂 Read your latest post and didn’t understand what the hell was going on until I read your ‘About’. Then I was all ‘Ohhhhh – that makes SOOO much sense now…’. I play in lots of amateur musical productions, and the crap you hear in the Orchestra Pit boggles your mind O_o I’ll definitely keep reading!

  9. Very funny. O.K., I’m supposed to be cleaning but now I have to get caught up on all the conversations. This is a very cool idea for a blog. Now I’m going to have to get caught up on adult music to figure out who the band is, as my daughter has hijacked my iPod and filled it up with Disney stars.

  10. During concerts the lights and attention are focused on the stage, right? The audience is sitting in the dark, right? During concerts you don’t let Bean Bag wander around in the audience, do you?

  11. isitthattime says:

    Bean Bag is class! Sleep with one eye open though guys. I want to know if someone can leave his list in any other way other than death? Once they are on the list, is it a grim reaper track down thing or if they express upset or, the unthinkable distaste for him, is there some form of let off? I can only hope I am never added to a list of this sort. It seems too late for you guys. Have started using the Ping technique on my teenager when she suffers the odd spell of attitude vomit. It’s become almost like an electric collar now…it works!

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