Do YOU want Joel to ruin YOUR childhood?

Posted: August 1, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

 JOWETT: Hello!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Hello


JOWETT: Joel. Your film review has had a good response on the e-mails

JOEL: Has it?

JOWETT: Yeah. We have had people e-mailing in suggesting films for you to review. Which I think is a great idea, but, the films people have asked you to review, are kids films


JOWETT: Well people are suggesting these films because they are their favourite films from their childhood. If YOU review it, you are just going to single-handedly destroy that film for them. You will review Hook, read too much in to it and claim Robin Williams was just an opportunist pedophile and the reason they were called the lost boys is because they lost their innocence after….

RYAN: Tut I liked that film! (Sarcastically) WELL DONE!

JOWETT: Well! I’m just saying, that is what is going to happen if he reviews childhood classic’s! Ryan has a few e-mails there, read them out mate



JOWETT: Christ don’t shout that out, sounds like we have filled the studio with 8 year olds and you have only just noticed

RYAN: (Laughing) I mean these email’s. In everyone they say “When I was 8..”

JOEL: I want to do it. Get them to send in suggestions

JOWETT: Okay. If you want Joel to review a film then send in a suggestion, either a e-mail or a comment. (Pause) Just looking at  few other email’s. Someone suggested ‘Home Alone’. I like that film so I don’t know if i want you to do that. Mike, didn’t you have a home alone-esk story about someone you know? Didn’t you say it was just like the film?

MIKE: It wasnt really like the film


MIKE: Because the child was killed


Some laughter from around the room

RYAN:You didn’t need Joel to ruin that after all

JOWETT: I know! Let’s move on from this

MIKE: I thought you wanted to talk about pet’s or something

JOWETT: No I overheard Joel on the phone to his mum talking about the family cat or something, but it sounded bizarre. What were you talking about?

JOEL: Oh, just the pet cat is on its last legs and my mum was just telling me it hasn’t got long left

JOWETT: Have you had that cat for a while?

JOEL: Yeah we had it when I lived at home

JOWETT: Shame, so you grew up with that cat then

JOEL: Suppose, I didn’t like it much, it was too moody


JOWETT: What do you mean?

JOEL: Well it was overweight and it used to sit and just prop itself up against a wall pulling hair out of itself


JOWETT: So you had a self harming cat?


JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: Brilliant! What drove it to that?

MIKE: I think Joel drove it to that. I bet it sat there, propped up against the wall, breathing heavily because its overweight, took one look at Joel’s miserable, stupid face and thought ‘Fu*k my life’


JOWETT: (Laughing) That’s a bit harsh. Did you have any family pet’s, Mike?

MIKE: Nah. I do remember rounding up spiders in our house and smashing them in


JOWETT: Jesus christ! You have previous with the RSPCA, I wouldnt admit to that

MIKE: No one likes spiders

JOWETT: Yeah but still, it doesn’t justify you ethnically cleansing your house of them

MIKE: THAT’S WORSE! You just compared killing spiders to the holocaust!




JOWETT: OUR FIRST PING! That means, inevitably, we have crossed the line and should probably stop there. So we will say goodbye. If you want Joel to review any films then send in your requests! goodbye!



  1. Blogdramedy says:

    I’d like Joel to review “Rainman.” And a follow up question, if I may: Who does he relate to the most…Tom or Dustin? 🙂

  2. genesismeranda says:

    Childhood films that should be ruined: Land Before Time 2 through 108.

  3. Love the bit about ethnic cleansing of spiders from his house, which, by the way, I am all for.

  4. My husband and I were just talking about how horrid “Yogi Bear” was… that would be a great one for him to review.
    In the meantime, his review has peaked my interest in this movie.

  5. Really interesting blog, keep up the good work!

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