Youth offenders visits and Mike gets censored

Posted: June 23, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Hello!

RYAN: Alright!

MIKE: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: First off. Mike, I heard a rumor that you have to be on your best behaviour. Is that true?

MIKE: Well, yeah. They read the last blog and think it’s too offensive and I’m putting my foot in it, too many times

JOWETT: They have got a point though, haven’t they?

MIKE: Well they hadn’t really looked at the blog before, untill YOU

Jowett starts laughing

MIKE: Showed them an old post where, apparently, I was making racist comments about China

JOWETT: (Laughing) Yeah. I think it was the one headed ‘It started so well

MIKE: Yeah. They said it was unacceptable

JOWETT: Right. Well you made some comment about chinese money or something like that. We won’t get in to it because you are already in trouble

MIKE: Well it is

JOWETT: Don’t! Seriously

MIKE: Look at you! (Mocking voice) Worried about what the management are going to say if I talk about China!

JOWETT: I’m not! It’s not as if im pandering to them…

MIKE: It’s not as if your panda….what? sorry what?


JOWETT: (Laughing) Seriously now. I’m going to move on, we can’t talk about it

MIKE: Well you are!  Just trying to keep management happy, up there arse. ‘PANDA’ ering to them


JOWETT: Oh come on!

MIKE: Talk about something else then for fu*k’s sake

JOWETT: Okay. I also heard, you are not allowed to slag off any celebrities?


JOWETT: So! A new game is in order! Called ‘What does Mike think about these celebrities!’

MIKE: Ohhh you are joking? This isn’t fair

JOWETT: I know. First off, we will make it easy. What do you think of ‘Take That’?

MIKE: Brilliant



MIKE: Yeah, outstanding


JOWETT: Erm Justin Bieber?

MIKE: Genius


JOWETT: (Laughing) Yeah yeah. Erm finally, Chris Martin

RYAN: Oooooo

MIKE: Quality

JOWETT: Yeah? Really?

MIKE: Yeah

JOWETT: He’s not a pretentious dick head then?


MIKE: (Laughing) No. You’re having a laugh aren’t ya!? That man IS. A. LEDGEND, Jowett


JOWETT: Good boy, thank’s for that Michael. Let’s move on! Erm I heard you were visited, in the studio, by a charity that supports ex youth offenders?

RYAN: Yeah

JOWETT: What’s that about?

RYAN: Well run workshops for kids that have committed crimes in the past or been inside youth offenders prisons etc

JOWETT: Oh right

MIKE: They bought three of the kids with them. They all looked shifty



MIKE: They just did. One of them had been stabbed before!

JOWETT: Christ! What had he been in trouble for?

MIKE: Well he said he hasn’t actually been arrested or anything. He said he just joined the workshops to prevent himself from a life of crime. But ya know..


MIKE: Well, why did he get stabbed? No smoke without fire


MIKE: I’m sure he said he was homeless? (Turns to Ryan) Is that right?

RYAN: I don’t know

MIKE: Why get involved with workshops if you are homeless?

JOWETT: Well, I see where you are coming from. Like, sort out living situations rather than start a workshop or something

MIKE: Well yeah, or turn to smack!



MIKE: What? Never did Joel any harm

JOEL: What?

MIKE: See!

JOWETT: Dear god. I think I will keep this post away from management

MIKE: Probably best

JOWETT: Ermm just trying to think what else I was going to ask you. Oh yeah, I saw a gig the other night and someone threw a bra on stage. Has anything like that happened to you?

RYAN: Mmm nah I don’t remember anything being thrown

JOEL: Which singer was it, that declared….

JOWETT: (laughing) Here we go

JOEL: What?

JOWETT: Nothing. Carry on

JOEL: Which singer was it, that declared his love for (Pause) I think it was Skittles. So at every gig, fans threw Skittles?

JOWETT: I don’t know

MIKE: Is that true?

JOEL: Yeah

MIKE: Well, if there are any ‘Coldplay’ fans following this. I happen to know that Chris Martin is a fan of…

I literally had to dive to turn the tape off as soon as he started this sentence. I knew where it was going and had the common sense to turn it off. I will leave it to your imagination what he said. It wasn’t skittles

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  1. Ahahahaha. Guys I love you. Have fun at glasto. And don’t throw anything at Bono, skittles or otherwise! 🙂

  2. the master says:

    Oh, man. Surely the whole point of being anonymous is to slag off celebrities with impunity! Does that apply to us commenters as well? Could I, for instance, speculate the Chris Martin is a [CENSORED] who enjoys [CENSORED]?

    By the way, I got a couple of weird direct messages from you on Twitter. Has your account been hacked or something?

  3. Blogdramedy says:

    I’m on the bandwagon…’cause I’m On The Bandwagon is fast becoming one of my fave blogs.

    Cup a tea, cup a tea, cup a tea…and a biscuit, goes down a charm when reading about this lot.

  4. susielindau says:

    Okay I am letting my imagination run wild. Could it be…cheese curds?

  5. tootsiewoo says:

    I really want to know what Mike was going to say! My imagination is failing me so, alas, I shall never know! It will join other things I don’t know, like how to cook and how to be subtle 😦 Great post, though!

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