Headline:Talk of Mike Tyson’s pug face and Reincarnation makes the band tighten security

Posted: June 20, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

 

JOWETT: Hello!

RYAN: Hello

MIKE: Hello

JOEL: Hello

JOWETT: Everyone alright?

RYAN: Yeah

JOWETT: Then let’s get straight into it! There is a new leader of Al-Qaeda!

MIKE: Is there? who?

JOWETT: Ayman Al-Zawahri

Pause

MIKE: Well I didn’t vote for him

Laughter

JOWETT: I don’t think it works like that, you just have to be….actually, im not getting into this

MIKE: I am. I reckon you just have to really want it and submit you’re CV

JOWETT: Mike!

MIKE: CV’s full of terrorism (Puts on a borderline, racist voice) I see here, you blew up an eagle, nice!

JOWETT: Right!

MIKE: You brought it up!

JOWETT: I know, but…let’s just move on, shall we

MIKE: Go on then

JOWETT: Okay. Actually, I was wondering, say you got that job, you would have that for life, i mean you couldn’t possibly get sacked, could you?

RYAN: I don’t know mate. I mean once you have been named head of Al-Aaeda, you aren’t going to listen to anyone if you got sacked anyway

JOWETT: I suppose. I mean you could keep going in to…the office

Laughter

JOWETT: I don’t know how it works, and someone would go “What are you doing here? We told you to clear your desk!”

MIKE: (Laughs) And he just shows him the palm of his hand “Whatever!, are you getting the tube anytime soon?” “why?” “Just wondering”

Laughter

JOWETT: (Laughs) Ooooookay. I haven’t had to do this for a while, but I’m sorry to anyone offended, errrm, Joel! Save us mate

JOEL: What?

JOWETT: Just talk mate, just talk

JOEL: Well I wanted a pet to take on tour with us

Mike sighs loudly

JOWETT: What’s this?

JOEL: Over the weekend, we discussed the possibility of having a pet to take on tour

JOWETT: Right? Mike, im guessing, is not a fan of the idea

MIKE: Well it’s daft isn’t it! It would never work out the way he thinks it will, in his head

JOWETT: I have to say, Joel, I agree with Mike

RYAN: And me

JOEL: Why wouldn’t it?

JOWETT: Well, look at celebrity pets, they never last!

JOEL: Like who?

JOWETT: John travolta’s dogs were run over, George Clooney had that pig that died, Jessica Simpson’s dog died

JOEL: Jessica Simpson’s dog died?

JOWETT: Yeah

MIKE: She used to sing didn’t she?

JOWETT: Yeah

MIKE:….Was it suicide

Laughter

RYAN: Mike Tyson had that Tiger

MIKE: Did that die?

RYAN: Well no, but it’s weird. People thought he had lost it. Mind you he had lost it before then. He even looks a bit weird

Laughter

JOWETT: Right, careful. How does he look weird?

RYAN: Dunno, just like, pug-faced

Some nervous laughter

MIKE: Right! I may have said some mad things on this blog, but you just called Mike Tyson, PUG-FACED!

RYAN: It was a joke, obviously

JOWETT: I’m the one that has to write this up! Again, we are going to have to change the subject! Ermm I have a news story

MIKE: Go on

JOWETT: ‘Jewish court sentences dog to death by stoning ‘as it’s lawyer reincarnated’

RYAN: What?

JOWETT: “Paranoid judges at a strict Jewish court have sentenced a stray dog to death by stoning as they believe it is possessed with the spirit of an unruly ex-lawyer. The four-legged criminal came to the attention of the Monetary Affairs Court in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood of Mea Shearim in Jerusalem, when it wandered in off the street. After ‘terrorising’ judges and plaintiffs it then refused to leave the court – sparking a bizarre theory that it was the reincarnation of a lawyer who had insulted the court 20 years previously. During the lawyer’s tirade, the court became so enraged it cursed him so he would come back in another life as a dog. Canines are considered impure by traditional Judaism, but with the curse supposedly coming back to haunt the court the only punishment seen fit was for local children to stone the creature to death”

RYAN: That is ridiculous

MIKE: That is mental that there is a belief where that becomes normal

JOWETT: Well let’s not slag it off because I really will have to scrap this whole conversation

MIKE: I’m just saying, If they are interested in other people who have harmed them in the past and have been reincarnated, Chris Martin, looks a bit Nazi-ish. Blonde hair, blue eyes

JOWETT: Ohh for ffff

MIKE: The kids from ‘Glee’, im sure a saw an episode with goose stepping

JOWETT: That’s all we have time for in this post

MIKE: ‘The Wanted’ are practically the SS

JOWETT: Goodbye!

 

Again, I’m sorry to anyone that was offended. Keep following on Twitter at twitter.com/jowettbandwagon

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. Now you mention it Chris Martin does have the whole Aryan thing going on ….

  2. Blogdramedy says:

    Somehow I’m able to put voices to each of the lads. You do good dialogue! 🙂

  3. robingraham says:

    Loved this – these people should be invited on to Question Time at the earliest opportunity.

  4. “I didn’t vote for him.” – Fantastic!

  5. the master says:

    I can’t be the only who wishes you wouldn’t cut Mike off. I understand your nervousness, but I’d love to see him just go for it. There’s nothing quite like seeing a promising career cut short by a tirade of slander and four-letter words!

    By the way, was it the tiger that was pug-faced, or was it that ear-chomping, pigeon fiddling psychopath Mike Tyson (yeah, I’m not afraid of you, nutjob)?

    😀

    • I know i know, sometimes we do let him rip, but sometimes it really is just too much. We might release some of the really bad stuff on a separate blog. The blog post that was recorded today, that will be released tomorrow, was cutting it fine as per usual!

      I Tweeted Mike Tyson the post about him, He never replied. 1 – 0 Ryan

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