Man arrested for heckling tiger

Posted: June 16, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Back again with Ryan, Mike and Joel

RYAN: Yep

JOWETT: Before we start a proper conversation. Joel, we found a Facebook page for your Highschool year, didn’t we

JOEL: Yep

JOWETT: Have you looked at it since we found it?

JOEL: No

JOWETT: Okay, I’m going to say some names and tell me if you recognise them, okay?

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: I’m just going to click on a few people’s profiles. Errrm Matthew Kelly?

JOEL: Mmmm No

JOWETT: Err Tim Jackson?

JOEL: No

JOWETT: Danielle Robinson?

JOEL: No

JOWETT: Did you go to school?

Laughter

JOEL: Yeah I just don’t remember those people

JOWETT: Joe Barnett?

JOEL: Yeah!

JOWETT: Yeah? Are you just saying that? Let’s have a look at him

JOEL: Nah I remember him! He use to sneak alcohol into school!

JOWETT: Oh right (Pause) Do you think his wife Beth and two-year old son Charlie know about his drinking problem?

Laughter

JOEL: (Laughing) Don’t, stop it now

JOWETT: Okay we will leave that. (Laughs) Aw look at Joel’s face, it’s okay mate, he wont be reading this

JOEL: Mmmm

MIKE: It’s your own fault, Joel, for saying that out loud

JOWETT: Yeah

RYAN: I have told him before, that he needs to think about stuff before he says or does anything

JOWETT: Like what? When has that been a problem?

RYAN: It’s not really been a problem, he just comes across a bit stupid sometimes

JOWETT: Like when?

RYAN: Ermm well once, when we were driving through Manchester, Joel looks out the tour bus window and goes “Fu*kin hell! There are shanty towns in Manchester!” I had a look and they were just allotments

Laughter

MIKE: Yeah once he was reading the newspaper and shouted over to me “Mike, have you seen this headline!? ‘Man arrested for heckling tiger’! How mad is that?” So I said “Are you sure that’s the full story mate?” and he goes “Yeah…..Oh wait, nah there is a picture of Tiger Woods here, never mind”

Laughter

JOWETT: They make a good point, Joel

JOEL: Mmm well i just don’t have common sense, that’s all. I beat everyone at monopoly the other day!

Laughter

RYAN: (Laughing) That’s true actually

JOWETT: Well for starters, why wasn’t I invited to play?

RYAN: Don’t know, you weren’t around

JOWETT: Okay. Why did you decide to play monopoly? Not very Rock ‘n’ Roll is it?

RYAN: It chill’s us out

JOWETT: Even Mike?

MIKE: Yeah I played

JOWETT: Christ. You play a lot of board games then?

RYAN: Yeah, we need some different ones actually. I’m getting bored with Monopoly

MIKE: Yeah, I saw a load in a shop the other day. Did you know you can get board games of TV shows?

JOWETT: Yeah I saw one for ‘Friends’ once

MIKE: That’s just weird. They will have them for specific celebrities next. You are the lead singer of Coldplay, go back six spaces for being a smug cu*t

Laughter

MIKE: You are Michael Jackson

JOWETT: NO!

MIKE: You pushed the boundaries of babysitting again, pay off his mum or go back five spaces

Laughter

JOWETT: (Laughing) Okay. Right, he didn’t mean that. Let’s quickly brush over that. What’s your problem with Chris Martin?

MIKE: I just don’t like him or his music

RYAN: Mike lost out the Chris Martin in some poll that the NME was running and he didn’t like it

MIKE: What!? Shut up

RYAN: So in a new low for professionalism, Mike, keyed his car

Laughter

MIKE: (Laughing) That’s not true. He did cut me up once, when I was driving out of the BBC

RYAN: Whatever. I’ve seen your driving, it was probably your fault. He never checks his mirrors

MIKE: Tut I never check my mirrors? You don’t know where im looking

RYAN: (Laughing) Is that what you said to your driving instructor after he failed you

Laughter

JOWETT: Wow, you really don’t like good old Chris Martin then do ya?

MIKE: No, I don’t like him but i wouldn’t say anything about him on this

JOWETT: But say you met him face to face, what would you say?

MIKE: I would say you’re a pri*k

JOWETT: Okay

MIKE: You’re a complete tw*t

JOWETT: Yeah

MIKE: You’re a fu*king talentless…

Laughter

JOWETT: OKAY! it’s probably best that we end that there. Until next time!

 

If you have any questions for the lads, send them in!

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Comments
  1. pretty sure there ARE shanty towns in Manchester… its grim up north 🙂 thanks boys for making a somewhat terrible friday a whole lot funnier!!

  2. Great post’s keep them coming, enjoy the tour. I might be old but i used to listened to Metallica and Twisted Sister 🙂

  3. alcostotle says:

    While I’ve never personally met Chris Martin, I tend to agree with Mike’s brilliant assessment of the situation.

  4. […] It doesn’t happen very often, but I have a new favourite blog to read. If you are reading in a public arena be careful; I read a new post at lunch at my desk last week and tea came out of my nose. Thats a hard look to style out! Enjoy!! ‘Belle xx JOWETT: Back again with Ryan, Mike and Joel RYAN: Yep JOWETT: Before we start a proper conversation. Joel, we found a Facebook page for your Highschool year, didn't we JOEL: Yep JOWETT: Have you looked at it since we found it? JOEL: No JOWETT: Okay, I'm going to say some names and tell me if you recognise them, okay? JOEL: Yeah JOWETT: I'm jus … Read More […]

  5. susielindau says:

    I always laugh out loud when I read these posts. I can see why this one had so many views!
    This is very timely with Coldplay’s new album out. I am sure it will put him right in his place. Hahaha!

  6. oolung says:

    Okay, these are some honestly awesomely random conversations 🙂

  7. I live in la quinta CA right down the road from the empire polo grounds where they hold the 3 day world famous coachellafest,stagecoach and heavy-metal fest. I can only image what goes on behind the scenes between all the bands during this crazy time. I am sure many people would love to be a fly on the wall for conversations between band mates for sure…love the scoop!

  8. aplscruf says:

    If it makes you feel any better, I thought Coldplay was boring on Saturday Night Live. Although, Chris Martin was pretty funny as a “special guest” during their news feature.

  9. bedstuychick says:

    Only been to London once but I could hear this conversation in different voices for each character pretty well in my head. Funny! I hate Chris Martin too, he married Gwyneth P. and enables her to be more obnoxious by letting her use a fake Brit accent. I look forward to checking out more of your blog (and getting back to London once I fill up my penny jar a few thousand times). Cheers~

    BSC in Brooklyn, NY

  10. zencherry says:

    Tiger Woods…heckling…I needed that today. 😀 Come here to get my funny on. Thanks! 😀

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