Man arrested for heckling tiger

Posted: June 16, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

JOWETT: Back again with Ryan, Mike and Joel


JOWETT: Before we start a proper conversation. Joel, we found a Facebook page for your Highschool year, didn’t we


JOWETT: Have you looked at it since we found it?


JOWETT: Okay, I’m going to say some names and tell me if you recognise them, okay?

JOEL: Yeah

JOWETT: I’m just going to click on a few people’s profiles. Errrm Matthew Kelly?

JOEL: Mmmm No

JOWETT: Err Tim Jackson?


JOWETT: Danielle Robinson?


JOWETT: Did you go to school?


JOEL: Yeah I just don’t remember those people

JOWETT: Joe Barnett?

JOEL: Yeah!

JOWETT: Yeah? Are you just saying that? Let’s have a look at him

JOEL: Nah I remember him! He use to sneak alcohol into school!

JOWETT: Oh right (Pause) Do you think his wife Beth and two-year old son Charlie know about his drinking problem?


JOEL: (Laughing) Don’t, stop it now

JOWETT: Okay we will leave that. (Laughs) Aw look at Joel’s face, it’s okay mate, he wont be reading this

JOEL: Mmmm

MIKE: It’s your own fault, Joel, for saying that out loud


RYAN: I have told him before, that he needs to think about stuff before he says or does anything

JOWETT: Like what? When has that been a problem?

RYAN: It’s not really been a problem, he just comes across a bit stupid sometimes

JOWETT: Like when?

RYAN: Ermm well once, when we were driving through Manchester, Joel looks out the tour bus window and goes “Fu*kin hell! There are shanty towns in Manchester!” I had a look and they were just allotments


MIKE: Yeah once he was reading the newspaper and shouted over to me “Mike, have you seen this headline!? ‘Man arrested for heckling tiger’! How mad is that?” So I said “Are you sure that’s the full story mate?” and he goes “Yeah…..Oh wait, nah there is a picture of Tiger Woods here, never mind”


JOWETT: They make a good point, Joel

JOEL: Mmm well i just don’t have common sense, that’s all. I beat everyone at monopoly the other day!


RYAN: (Laughing) That’s true actually

JOWETT: Well for starters, why wasn’t I invited to play?

RYAN: Don’t know, you weren’t around

JOWETT: Okay. Why did you decide to play monopoly? Not very Rock ‘n’ Roll is it?

RYAN: It chill’s us out

JOWETT: Even Mike?

MIKE: Yeah I played

JOWETT: Christ. You play a lot of board games then?

RYAN: Yeah, we need some different ones actually. I’m getting bored with Monopoly

MIKE: Yeah, I saw a load in a shop the other day. Did you know you can get board games of TV shows?

JOWETT: Yeah I saw one for ‘Friends’ once

MIKE: That’s just weird. They will have them for specific celebrities next. You are the lead singer of Coldplay, go back six spaces for being a smug cu*t


MIKE: You are Michael Jackson


MIKE: You pushed the boundaries of babysitting again, pay off his mum or go back five spaces


JOWETT: (Laughing) Okay. Right, he didn’t mean that. Let’s quickly brush over that. What’s your problem with Chris Martin?

MIKE: I just don’t like him or his music

RYAN: Mike lost out the Chris Martin in some poll that the NME was running and he didn’t like it

MIKE: What!? Shut up

RYAN: So in a new low for professionalism, Mike, keyed his car


MIKE: (Laughing) That’s not true. He did cut me up once, when I was driving out of the BBC

RYAN: Whatever. I’ve seen your driving, it was probably your fault. He never checks his mirrors

MIKE: Tut I never check my mirrors? You don’t know where im looking

RYAN: (Laughing) Is that what you said to your driving instructor after he failed you


JOWETT: Wow, you really don’t like good old Chris Martin then do ya?

MIKE: No, I don’t like him but i wouldn’t say anything about him on this

JOWETT: But say you met him face to face, what would you say?

MIKE: I would say you’re a pri*k


MIKE: You’re a complete tw*t


MIKE: You’re a fu*king talentless…


JOWETT: OKAY! it’s probably best that we end that there. Until next time!


If you have any questions for the lads, send them in!

  1. pretty sure there ARE shanty towns in Manchester… its grim up north 🙂 thanks boys for making a somewhat terrible friday a whole lot funnier!!

  2. Great post’s keep them coming, enjoy the tour. I might be old but i used to listened to Metallica and Twisted Sister 🙂

  3. alcostotle says:

    While I’ve never personally met Chris Martin, I tend to agree with Mike’s brilliant assessment of the situation.

  4. […] It doesn’t happen very often, but I have a new favourite blog to read. If you are reading in a public arena be careful; I read a new post at lunch at my desk last week and tea came out of my nose. Thats a hard look to style out! Enjoy!! ‘Belle xx JOWETT: Back again with Ryan, Mike and Joel RYAN: Yep JOWETT: Before we start a proper conversation. Joel, we found a Facebook page for your Highschool year, didn't we JOEL: Yep JOWETT: Have you looked at it since we found it? JOEL: No JOWETT: Okay, I'm going to say some names and tell me if you recognise them, okay? JOEL: Yeah JOWETT: I'm jus … Read More […]

  5. susielindau says:

    I always laugh out loud when I read these posts. I can see why this one had so many views!
    This is very timely with Coldplay’s new album out. I am sure it will put him right in his place. Hahaha!

  6. oolung says:

    Okay, these are some honestly awesomely random conversations 🙂

  7. I live in la quinta CA right down the road from the empire polo grounds where they hold the 3 day world famous coachellafest,stagecoach and heavy-metal fest. I can only image what goes on behind the scenes between all the bands during this crazy time. I am sure many people would love to be a fly on the wall for conversations between band mates for sure…love the scoop!

  8. aplscruf says:

    If it makes you feel any better, I thought Coldplay was boring on Saturday Night Live. Although, Chris Martin was pretty funny as a “special guest” during their news feature.

  9. bedstuychick says:

    Only been to London once but I could hear this conversation in different voices for each character pretty well in my head. Funny! I hate Chris Martin too, he married Gwyneth P. and enables her to be more obnoxious by letting her use a fake Brit accent. I look forward to checking out more of your blog (and getting back to London once I fill up my penny jar a few thousand times). Cheers~

    BSC in Brooklyn, NY

  10. zencherry says:

    Tiger Woods…heckling…I needed that today. 😀 Come here to get my funny on. Thanks! 😀

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