‘Head’ ing down a dangerous path

Posted: May 16, 2011 in Band Conversations
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Get On the Band Wagon!

Hello again. We are back again with a new interview. As anticipated I received a few complaints after the picture of Mike’s mock ‘One foot in the tube’ picture was posted in the last blog so for the hundredth time, I’m sorry. The lads have been very busy over the past few days doing gigs and spending time in the studio so i have found it hard to catch up with them until now. Here it is

JOWETT: Hello!

MIKE: Hello

RYAN: Hello

JOWETT: Been a couple of days since we last spoke, hasn’t it?

RYAN: It has

JOWETT: It was enough time for my inbox to get jammed up with complaints about Mike’s picture

MIKE: You put it on the internet mate. Not me!

RYAN: He has a point

JOWETT: Yeah I know but, I think in general, we have offended a fair few people

MIKE: Says who?

JOWETT: The hate mail

RYAN: We have hate mail!?

JOWETT: Nah not hate mail, just disapproving mail, its less threatening than hate mail. Most of it is saying we need to stop insulting everyone

MIKE: That’s not fair

JOWETT: Why?

MIKE: Because we haven’t insulted everyone, YET!

JOWETT: (Laughs) Yep that’s true. Plenty of time for that

MIKE: Yep!

JOWETT: Okay, firstly. I want to get you’re thoughts on a piece of news that happened Friday. This is from the ‘Daily Mail’, A English news publication. “A 62-year-old woman horrifically decapitated in a Tenerife shop was named tonight as grandmother Jennifer Mills-Westley. The retired mother-of-two, from Norwich, Norfolk, was living on the popular tourist island, her family revealed. She was allegedly murdered by Bulgarian Deyan Valentinov, 28, who paraded the severed head through the streets of Los Cristianos. The attacker apparently believed he was ‘the prophet of God’ “. Thoughts?

RYAN: Yeah I heard about this

MIKE: So what happened?

JOWETT: A bloke in Tenerife walked into a shop and decapitated an elderly woman and then ran out of the shop, down the street, with the head under his arm

RYAN: Fu** me!

MIKE: So why did he do it?

JOWETT: They don’t know. It just says in the paper that the bloke believed he was ‘the prophet of god’

MIKE: Nut case then

JOWETT: Well yeah

RYAN: Where did he get the blade from? Did he just walk in with it?

JOWETT: Ermm hang on (Pause) Err no, here it is “Witnesses claimed he may have picked an ornamental blade off the shelves – as security guards would have spotted if he walked through the door with it”

MIKE: Could of just walked in with a small blade

JOWETT: A small blade wouldn’t have been able to take her head off, mate

MIKE: Well I suppose as she was 62, he could have probably done it with a butter knife

Laughter from all over the room

JOWETT: Oooooookay then. Ryan didn’t even attempt to stop him with a signal then

RYAN: Can you honestly say you saw that coming?

JOWETT: Yeah fair enough. I will read on “Local mayor José Reverón said the alleged killer was a bizarre individual who was known to police and had a history of intimidating passers-by on the street before yesterday’s horrifying attack. He was reportedly released from a psychiatric hospital in February and had a history of violent behaviour before the brutal killing.He apparently admitted to the psychiatric unit after knocking a stranger’s teeth out on the street”

MIKE: (Laughs) It does sound like he was building up to it. Building his confident by scaring a few people, taking some teeth and then eventually, a head

JOWETT: (Laughs) Stop it now, Mike.

RYAN: Where were security while he was sawing this woman’s head off? He had time to get halfway down the street, with the head under his arm?

JOWETT: Yeah then security chased him. They didn’t even know what he had done, just thought he had shop lifted a pineapple, and that was what was under his arm “Oi give us back that…oh god”

MIKE: SEE! look who it is now making fun!

JOWETT: Sorry sorry. Let’s move on

RYAN: I don’t know if this conversation can be saved

JOWETT: I know, i have to post it though because it’s been too long

MIKE: Tut it’s fine! It’s not that offensive!

JOWETT: Okay

MIKE: That story is mental though. You don’t get things like that round here do ya!

RYAN: Nah. There was that bloke who raided a shop when we were little. A man raided a shop with a gun took everything and the shop keeper died during it. Remember?

MIKE: (Unsure) Yeah. The shop keeper died? how?

RYAN: (Pause) He got robbed to death. What do you think? He got shot you idiot

MIKE: Well i don’t know! Fu**in ages ago!

JOWETT: I can assume most of you’re childhood stories are like this

MIKE: Nah. I have one about a mosk

JOWETT: OKAY THEN! THAT’S ENOUGH FOR THIS INSTALLMENT!

Laughter

JOWETT: Again, I would like to apologise for the picture in the last post if anyone was offended by it. It’s goodbye from me, Mike and Ryan

RYAN: Bye

MIKE: Bye

Back again soon with another post. We are starting to get questions for the lads so send them in and I will get them in the next conversation. Keep spreading the word and join the Facebook group!

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Comments
  1. alcostotle says:

    Please tell me you are not really getting hate mail for the picture. I mean, it’s not like he said: “A shi’ite, a sunni, and a palestinian walked into a bar…then it blew up.” I guess some people try pretty hard to get offended…that gives me an idea. I need to drink some pbrs and come up with something.

    Great blog, cheers!

  2. clearly I MUST find this apparently tasteless picture. Ooooh goody

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